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[β]Ket_om 17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I am the same way and no amount of alcohol or drugs will change it unless I black out. How do you overcome it? The answer isn't what you want but it's to do it. You can practice at home or in front of friends you trust before dancing in front of others. But the only way you'll become comfortable dancing like that is just doing it and dancing. A common fear is that you'll look funny or obvious that you dont dance. Well people dont really care unless you go nuts dancing and even if you go a bit crazy people respect funny dancers more than people who are too scared to dance at all. Someone who doesn't care even if their dancing is horrific they are still fun and fun with dancing is what matters.
[β]throwawayaftertoday4 18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
no amount of alcohol or drugs
This man never dropped molly
[β][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[β]TANKER_06 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was lucky in this aspect, as I was always interested in dancing. I was into popping and liquid, and learning the fundamentals of those dance styles really helps in the club.
To preface everything, you don't need to be a master on the dance floor. Even a basic 2-step, if done well with a personal touch, is enough. However, if you think dancing will make you a "babe magnet", stop reading now, it will only end in disappointment.
So first tip, find a dance style you're interested in, and watch youtube videos! Back then, youtube wasn't a thing, and all the training material I got was from blurry 360p videos (if I'm lucky!) over IRC and later, Napster/Kazaa. Practice in front of the mirror. Join communities, and send a video of what you've learnt so far, improve. This is a hobby by its own, and another relatively free hobby to have is always great!
Whacking and Voguing are nice to watch, but might not be suited for you in this context unless you really know what you're doing.
Next tip, don't go to a club and burst out your routine. The thing about many styles of dancing, they are all rather high intensity. In other words, if you keep busting out moves, you gonna get winded real fast, drink more, and sweat buckets. No point attracting girls with your dance or being able to further interactions, only to push them away because you too gross and drunk to get near to.
Instead, freestyle it. Stick to the basic 2-step, maybe throw in a "flair" once in a while, based off what you've learnt. That way you don't look like a head bopper, yet, you can do it all night without breaking into a sweat.
Starting to feel confident? Get into the dance floor. Use whatever space you have. Don't just stay at the same spot all night. This also means you create a small circle of personal space, even if it's just 1-2 body's worth.
What about meme dances? Sure, it's kinda cool to see someone bust it out, but don't be that guy that can only do that. Because those don't last long (e.g. Flossing) or are song specific (e.g. Gangnam Style), and if that is all in your repertoire, you'll lose the attention as fast as you got it.
As dance is a creative expression, try to include the girl you're with into your dance, and more than the usual "take her hand, raise it up and letting her spin" move. If you think a girl is showing interest, try to include her, if she rejects you, just move on, no harm. Chances are, if you're half-decent and creative, you'd be like no one else she met and she'd be happy to be part of the focus.
And with that, the last tip is to have fun. Enjoy the music. Get into the groove. Dance because you want to dance, not because you want girls to notice you. How I look at it is, doesn't matter how bad a dancer you are, as long as you are happy!
[β]antoniovzgr 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Stop feeling bad for yourself and start doing something. Have you thought of dancing lessons? Plus, you'll meet more people!
[β]Yldling 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
^^ This. Get some lessons. Dance will give you an overall boost to your coordination and impact the way you move, as well as making you more agile. Serious.
[β]daniela52 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also add to boosting your confidence like crazy and learning skills you'll take with you for the rest of your life. I see the change in people and how they blossom and light up every day. I work in a dance studio. Highly recommend!! Youll never feel intimidated asking a girl to dance or accepting a dance invitation again
[β]Silly-French 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I was like you until I realise that nobody cares how you dance. People just want to have a good time, they're not here for a dancing competition.
[β]KingRemu 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This. You don't have to take dance lessons to have fun at a club. Just do a little side step to the beat and move your arms around. You can also mimic what other people are doing.
[β]Silly-French 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. What I found recently is to try to mimic other people dancing and most of time they will laugh or connect with you and start to dance silly. Remember people just want the fun, and you should too.
[β]onejuarez 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My father always told me, "Learn how to dance, learn how to fight, learn how to speak in public"
I have been training martial arts and just recently started dancing this year. Im 2 months in.
The least you can do is learn the basics. Once you do that you're already ahead of 80% of other guys. That's half the battle. Then you have to actually get to the dance floor. Try to br confodent enough to just get up and use what youve learn.
NO ONE WILL CARE HOW YOU DANCE π As long as you both are having fun who cares if youre a beginner it's social dancing. Go to meetups and socials. Try to stay away from clubs unless youre into the grindy stuff
[β][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothings wrong with having a good time and dancing. I get insecure a lot going out too and struggle with it but if you keep the basis mindset of having fun and being yourself, youβll never know what will come your way.
Only live once my guy
[β]TheMonkWolf 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Practice in a mirror at home! For real. I use to be so terrified of it and clumsy and awkward but now itβs a skill, a tool, a trick I can pull out at different occasions that has honestly been so useful.
You got this dude! Just practice in a mirror. Look stuff up on YouTube.
[β]condor69bravo 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Practice w/ YouTube and do some resistance training. Your confidence will soar. Confidence is what every girl is looking for weather your good at dancing or not won't matter if you express confidence. Good luck!
When I was younger I never danced. Just froze up, probably afraid of being judged like you. The first time I danced it turned out I was kinda good! So from then on, when I felt nervous and couldn't get into it, I used a trick: just move around like an idiot for a few seconds, give yourself permission to look stupid. Soon enough you'll relax and get your moves back. It should always be fun, nothing serious. Kind of similar to sex in a way.
[β][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Donβt address insecurities issue by issue. You need to confront your (in this case physical) insecurity in general first. I still struggle a little bit with it, but Iβm mostly over it. There is no cure to insecure dancing that doesnβt include curing your general insecurity.
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[β]Ket_om 17 points18 points19 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[β]throwawayaftertoday4 18 points19 points20 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[β][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]TANKER_06 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]antoniovzgr 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[β]Yldling 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]daniela52 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]Silly-French 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[β]KingRemu 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]Silly-French 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]onejuarez 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]TheMonkWolf 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]condor69bravo 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link