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[–]fixzzz123 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just tell her you find texting awkward and youd prefer if you grab tea instead.
[–]questionthis 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is solid advice
[–]nickstratton15 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Text her and ask her to meet up. No, don't call her out (that's like saying "I have nothing going on in my life please fill the empty void"). She doesn't have to be "good at replying" so long as she replies to your meet up text. If she can't meet you, try a couple more times (depending on how you feel about her at this point) spread out over several days. If she still won't meet, she's wasting your time. Good luck with it.
[–]DaygameCoach 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you cant get her out on person, move on.
[–]questionthis 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How long have you been talking? How many dates have you gone on? Sounds like early-onset oneitis. Best advice I've heard (in life in general) is when the game doesn't work for you, play another game. Try changing shit up; she's playing the game by her own rules (may not even be intentional), so don't play that game.
If you know she's in to you, don't worry about the texting. Some women are just independent and have shit going on in their lives.
I had this exact situation happen to me 2 weeks ago. I just got out of a long term relationship about a month ago, and the first couple girls I talked to were really chatty and always having a relatively quick and fun replies. But that can cause things to escalate quickly, which can mess up expectations and put pressure on the dates.
Then this girl I'm talking to now comes in and takes 20-40 minutes to respond to texts, sometimes with texts you can't respond to like "Oh that's awesome!" that don't contribute to the development of the conversation. Here's how I handled it:
Observe her pace, reciprocate her pace, set a new pace.
1) Catch on to it early, which you have. Worst thing to do is be a frequent texter with a girl who isn't, and you want to ultimately control the pace of the texting.
2) Set up a date for a week or two in the future (not this weekend) and then say you'll text her with details in a week. Then sit on it and follow your rule.
3) Always be the one who concluded the conversation. That doesn't mean you have to be like "Gotta go see you later!", but when she says something that may not require a text, don't text her. I got this one from a girl I used to date and am now friends with. If she sends a shitty text, you not replying is you saying she sent a shitty text. She will think about why you didn't respond, and wonder if something she said caused that. The added benefit of this is that she was the last one to send a text, so in a day or two if you want to text her and say something you aren't double-texting.
4) Most Importantly: Time yourself to respond in sporadic intervals. Sometimes text back within 2-5 minutes, then next time sit on it for an hour before replying. Keep busy for a bit and you'll find that it gets easier not to text. When you do text keep it lightly flirty at most and don't try to escalate things over text. Escalate in person, the texting will follow.
5) Only text when there's a reason to. It can be as hard and fast as "only when you're setting up your date" or it can be "How was your trip?" two days after she gets back. Don't text her just because you're thinking about her.
These are steps that worked for me in hindsight. These allowed me to start controlling the tempo, and now I have this girl texting me out of the blue and sending me random personal snapchats.
[–][deleted] 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
What happened earlier was she said bye probably expecting me to try and stay
Stay as in stay in the text conversation? Did she just say "bye" like a cold ass ice queen in the middle of conversation? Do you have a date planned? I would need more context to give you good advice.
Honestly, you know the vibe better than anyone. But she said bye, you said bye, and bye means bye. Sit on it, go find some other girls to text. Text some buddies, go get drinks tonight with friends. Keep yourself distracted.
If you have a date set up then great, you've already accomplished all you're going to accomplish until that date, so don't worry about it. Text her the day before your next date and say "You a red or white wine person?" then whatever her response is, be like "Interesting. Pick you up at 8 tomorrow" and pick up a bottle of wine to leave at your place for after the date.
Don't have a date planned? Sit for a beat and wait til you cool off and don't feel like you need her attention. Then randomly just say "I'd like to take you out to get drinks next weekend." If she's not in to it that's when you'll find out whether its worth it to keep investing your time.
[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey seddit, so im talking to this girl and she seems semi interested,
You could try to make her interested, or spare the energy for a girl that is worth it.
the only problem I have is slow replies, like ive been talking to girls for a while and have never experienced something like this.
This happens from time to time.
Whats the best thing to say? Should I call her out? Im obviously not going to double text. What would you guys do? Whats a good reply that implies she is shit at replying?
That is the problem. You want to try to fix her. Why would you want to do that? scarcity? Is she your only and last hope to find a girl to have fun with? How is she even worth the extra effort to make her more interested in you?
The way i see it, girls that are not interested, are not worth my time. If this happens constantly, it means the problem is you, but if she is one in a bunch, next, there should be many others waiting.
[–]clevelandtyler2 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's playing a game. Go silent. If she's truly interested, she'll text you.
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[–]fixzzz123 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]questionthis 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nickstratton15 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DaygameCoach 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]questionthis 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]questionthis 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]clevelandtyler2 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link