Hey Seddit,

Lately I’ve been going back to focusing on myself and one thing that I’ve noticed is that I feel like I have an interesting life, but I myself, am a boring person. Let me explain how I see it.

Seddit always encouraged people to build an interesting life for yourself that you can be proud of. For a long time, it’s all I’ve worked on. I’m currently 22 and attending college. I play guitar and I do tons of martial arts (aikido, jiujitsu, taekwondo, weapons-training). I regularly stay active by going to the gym, beach and hiking. I have a decent job working retail which also allows me to stay up to date on how to dress, as well as a paid internship coming up at the end of the semester. I also do a lot of other random things ranging from poker and playing the stock market to archery and meditation.

Despite everything that I do, I feel like I’m a boring person personality-wise. I drink but I don’t get drunk and I rarely go to clubs or bars. I’ll go if my friends ask me to come out, but I’m never the one to suggest it. I’m always the responsible one that either DD’s and babysits or has everyone asking if I’m having fun or not. I am the least spontaneous person I know. I always have to have things planned out and organized. On one hand, it’s great that I can plan creative dates that girls have never been on before and they really enjoy it.

On the other hand, I’ve never taken a girl on an “adventure.” Things such as hiking dangerous places or round-island road trips are seen as adventurous, but they just never seem like they really are when I take them. I’ve never had a girl say “I love how we can have so much fun doing nothing.” It’s as if I had to rely on my creative ideas instead of my personality. I bet you can remember those spontaneous nights where you have no plans (and if you did, that they never ended up working out) but wound up being the nights you always remember? I don’t have those.

I’ll throw in my background just in case it helps. I used to play World of Warcraft 50-60 hours a week throughout high school until I found Seduction during my 2nd year of college. I live in Hawaii where social circle game is pretty much the main if not only thing I can do. My current sticking point is that I last 1-2 dates with every girl and they slowly drop out of my life. I’m thinking it’s because of the reason I’m writing this post, but maybe there are other things you guys can suggest as to why. Oh, and yeah I’m very hard on myself, but I think from reading this you already knew.

I guess the main thing I’m asking here more or less, is how to not have a boring personality. For example, this post is really old http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/okjbx/how_to_become_a_less_boring_person/ but the top comments have the general advice that I am looking more towards. I looked into it some more and found this http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j9wop/10_lifestyle_tips/ What really shocked me was that he said some people try to “force their lifestyle down her throat which comes off as insecure/bragging,” and I couldn’t believe how true that was for me. I always find myself purposely baiting girls into conversations that, when they reciprocate, allow me to tell them about my hobbies and life.

In the moment, it feels like if they find out all the things I do compared to other guys around here, that it would fuel the attraction, but logically I know that this falls under "trying to impress her." I've even gone into conversations saying "I will not talk about my hobbies," and no matter what I always end up baiting the girl into it no matter how conscious I am of it. I guess my pickup skills are where I need to focus my efforts on? A lifestyle is supposed to be for yourself and to show that girls are not your number one priority. However, I feel like because I’ve got everything sorted out EXCEPT girls, that they become my number one priority because it’s one of my biggest problems/flaws.

I know that was long, but if you read all that, I love you.

TL;DR: have the lifestyle, but boring personality isn’t up to par.