INTJ - How to overcome?

myersbriggsAFC · 2010-10-12T23:28:22+00:00

I got really into myers-briggs type stuff for some reason about a year ago.

I'm an ENTJ, which means I'm the more likely to be naturally good with girls version of you. We both have a tendency to be nerds, but us ENTJs tend to be much more interested in exploiting our nerdiness to get things because unlike INTJs, we cannot not market ourselves.. it's in our nature to be both cocky AND want the world to see us in charge.

to illustrate this, i remember some site that gave character examples of each myer's briggs type. under ENTJ was Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, some of the most famous, richest, and powerful men alive. under INTJ was Gandalf. i mean sure, he's the shit... but he looks like just another old man in a gray robe. while he's cocky, he's hardly in the business of attracting attention to himself. see what I mean? we're all nerdy in a similar way.. but ENTJs tend to be more naturally interested in exploiting our nerdiness than INTJs

INTJs can be excellent with people.. my little bro is an INTJ and he's great interacting with girls and has even more friends than i do. Most other INTJs I know, however, remind me much more of what you're describing.

Here are a few things that you should be using to your advantage:

INTJs are naturally a bit cocky and have this "i'm always right" attitude. Use this to your advantage: google "cocky funny" humor... it should come very easy for you.
also on the cocky note, you should be translating your tendency to have an almost irrational confidence in the way you think things should be into confidence in social situations: when you walk into a bar or club, you are right to be there; you are not out of place.
You are probably, like myself and other xNTJs, obsessed in some way or another with analyzing the shit out everything involving what you want (aka: why you are here). That makes you very likely to find everything on this subreddit extremely helpful. We give you processes and theories: stand like this, plan dates like this, kiss a girl like this at this time, open like this... not stupid shit like "be yourself" that many xxFx (feeling oriented, as opposed to thinking oriented) people will tell you.
plan out approaches. you like planning my xNTJ friend, right? fuck.. I have an itemized 15yr plan that i've been following for 2.5 years and I think about it literally every waking hour of every day. plan out and imagine the perfect approach where you are super confident and playful, and it works! then try it. you'll probably fail to get her, and she probably won't respond at all how you expected. it will probably throw you off big time, which is good.. but you'll realize after more reading and posting FRs and stuff "wow, i can't believe i actually thought that would work" and, more importantly, "wow, I never thought that would work"

i think you are in a much better position than you think you are.. there is so much material available to you that can save you countless hours of trial and error as you undergo your transformation from just another AFC beta male nice guy to an alpha ladies man who can create attraction in women on a whim with little or no thought to it at all.

pickup_startist · 2010-10-12T22:41:19+00:00

You're killing your game. Everything else is you justifying it. You're not "doomed" because of a "personality type." All the advice we give anyone in here applies to you just the same.

That being said, I like myers-briggs.

almisto · 2010-10-12T22:13:56+00:00

I generally appear uninterested or flaky when talking to women

You can use this to your advantage.

I'm definitely one of those people that doesn't escalate Kino well

You'll need to address this. It is worth sorting out though. I was really shocked (in a nice way) when I started with kino.

Relax. Maybe all this about your INTJ type ruining your game is just a limiting belief? Or maybe you fell for some cold reading trick ;)

GermanSP · 2010-10-13T07:29:05+00:00

Play to your strengths whenever possible. The first line of your own self description (the INTJ Profile link) says:

"To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence." and later on- "In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know""

Pretty powerful insight. Focus what you know toward what you want, understanding yourself, women, and how to communicate with them.

INTJ's got the skills, you just need the knowledge and the conditioning

Shadow_Stabbing · 2010-12-09T02:23:55+00:00

I'm and INTJ as well. When it comes to social interaction and pickup it can be somewhat debilitating, but really this is only to start the interaction. Once you actually get to talking, and calm down, you'll be fine. Play to your strengths and plan out interactions. You don't have to game in the sense of meeting people in situations that already make you uncomfortable. (I hate clubs) Partake in things your already enjoy, preferably something where you are already in your element and just take the leap to socialize with those around you. This can be difficult at first but you just have to take the leap. And don't just focus on talking to women, in fact, I would start by talking to guys.

The way I went about this was through my teenage and early college years, I deliberately chose jobs that were high in social interaction with strangers. It helped a lot, and I made some good friends.

INTJ personalities tend to be pretty common in online communities, but in the general population they are fairly uncommon. It is highly likely that there are a number of topics that you are excessively knowledgeable on, try to talk about those, practice a number of stories or topics that you are comfortable talking about with strangers, and expand it over time.

I've been most successful with women by building my social value in circles of friends and just meeting friends of friends. Since the people in my circle of friends already know/appreciate me, the introduction phase with their female friends is much easier and you can get to one on one conversations much faster. If you have the right friends, or find yourself in a job with lots of interaction you can do really well for yourself.

Zamarok · 2010-10-13T02:40:44+00:00

I'm amazed at how accurate that description. I'm one of you too. I'm even more amazed that there are enough people like me to have us in a category.

I used to be pretty AFC just like that profile says, mostly because I don't like or understand social rituals naturally. My natural game is fine otherwise, but like you, I have a hard time with all the 'rules'.

I'm overcoming it by studying, and it's been working. Study the art of pick-up, study social psychology, study the human brain, and most importantly study yourself.

My most recent discovery is that eye contact and a smile is insanely helpful in almost any situation. People like you better, you feel better (smiling releases feel-good chemicals), plus you gain confidence from positive responses.

RobJudge · 2010-10-12T23:40:33+00:00

Dude, it's really easy to blame your "personality" for your shyness. If I were you, I wouldn't even think about that stuff and just dictate your own set of beliefs. I know when I started out, I was really shy and nervous too (probably wouldn't been some limiting personality type too)...but I decided I was only going to believe positive things about myself and not give myself excuses why I can't meet new girls and become the man.

You should be thinking the same way. I know you will. Best, Rob Judge

monkmonkmonk · 2010-10-13T03:52:12+00:00

Are you fucking retarded? I don't even know what kind of personality type I am, and i don't ever need to.

Stop being a beta, man the fuck up and hit the gym.

Title	INTJ - How to overcome?
Author	myersbriggsAFC
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	October 12, 2010 9:35 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dqdii/intj_how_to_overcome/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/intj-how-to-overcome.1312259 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312259

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