Is it a bad idea to offer options within the date or is that too indecisive?

Either_Sundae6099 · 2025-05-31T09:00:27+00:00

Ideally lead the whole thing.

If you start listing pro's / con's you are going into facts figures mode. If it can be displayed as facts or figure, put into a spreadsheet, or a presentation... do not go there.

She wants to have a fun time and relax, not get decision fatigue, because you are unable to lead her through an enjoyable experience.

chips_and_hummus · 2025-05-31T06:02:31+00:00

make it quick

“hey i was thinking we could go to A or B, both sound fun to me, do you have a preference?”

if she says she doesn’t care you decide and move on

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-31T18:37:31+00:00

Men's job is to lead, while women's job is to choose whether to follow him or not.

Asking women what they want is the easiest way to frustrate yourself. It's lie asking women what do you wanna eat. Not a question women like to hear. Inivite her to something you will do with or without her that causes fear of missing out.

Also don't try to rationalize the thing by saying shit like "these are the pros and cons" like it's some business negotiation. Women aren’t looking for a sales pitch when it comes to making decisions about spending time together. They want to feel the excitement, the spontaneity, and the desire that you bring. The key is to create a sense of adventure and anticipation, not overthinking the situation. Making them think is a chore to them and makes it more likley that they say no.

Present it as an experience, something that’s fun, intriguing, and worth her attention. If you make it sound like an opportunity she can't afford to miss, it's gonna tap into that natural curiosity and desire to be part of something exciting.

Instead of asking for approval or listing pros and cons, lead with confidence and passion. Suggesting an activity with enthusiasm, as if it's already something you’re looking forward to, lets her know you’re not seeking validation or permission, you're offering an experience. When you show you’re comfortable with the decision, she’ll feel more drawn to follow your lead and get on board with the idea. It’s not about controlling the situation, it’s about creating a vibe that invites her to join in.

Don't make women think and analyse, make women feel.

hunterpua · 2025-05-31T08:00:25+00:00

If you're in a situation like that and you're confused about what she'd prefer then you didn't get to know her well enough before the date.

I get to know women so much they're the ones who literally sell me on dates.

For example, a girl once told me about this world traveling bookstore on this massive ship that was gonna be docking in our city.

She told me about how they have a museum, a cafe, and a bunch of other things she found interesting.

She told me how much she'd like to go to it when it arrives. She told me the things she's most excited to try.

And I didn't say "Hey, let's go on a date. Any suggestions?"

Going on a date didn't even come up yet. We were just having a conversation about interesting things going on and when she mentioned the ship I didn't just say, "Oh cool" and then change subjects like most guys do, I actually let her go into it.

And all I had to do was express my interest in it when she mentioned things that were interesting to me until I finally said, "we should go there together."

And she agreed and so we sorted out the logistics, agreed on a day and time and exchanged contact info.

Yeah, all this happened when we first met.

"We should go there together" was the closest thing to saying we're going on a date.

And we settled on a day and time before exchanging contacts.

Most guys are too caught up with keeping things surface level while they try to put on a performance for the girl.

You don't need to do that. You should be judging her too, you should be getting to know her too.

Lots of guys complain that dating is like going on job interviews but a lot of guys are the ones who put themselves in that position.

I've been doing this for 15 years now and I'd argue that I deliberate whether I want to be with a girl more than they do me.

All you need to do to initiate is approach man. Everything after that point should be split between you two. You don't need to do all the work from open to close.

Also, flirting is not topic dependent. I can be talking to a girl about the quality of the grass in the venue we're in while looking at her like I wanna have my way with her until she forgets everything but my name.

So you can get to know each other while creating a flirty vibe at the same time.

Get to know women at least 10x more than you're currently doing and you'll never be confused about what to do for the date. A lot of the time, they will tell you exactly what to do, just like the girl in my example did.

And don't think we talked for an hour. That conversation happened in the span of 5, 10 minutes max.

Just try to describe a cool place to a friend. It won't take more than 5 minutes to do.

Its not the time you spend talking to her that's the issue, it's the fact that you're not paying enough attention and not digging into topics enough.

Do that and everything will be easier.

Ninjazxcz · 2025-05-31T20:34:37+00:00

You "seed" meaning you fish for what she is resposive to but you make the final decision yourself

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-05-31T06:24:35+00:00

its okay to know her preference but always make the plan; know the best place to go; and so on;

Title	Is it a bad idea to offer options within the date or is that too indecisive?
Author	qurfy
Upvotes	9
Comments	6
Date	May 31, 2025 5:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kzpx6r/is_it_a_bad_idea_to_offer_options_within_the_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-a-bad-idea-to-offer-options-within-the-date.1553546 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553546

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