Is OLD worth it for someone in my position?

MysteryLiezer · 2025-04-06T09:13:48+00:00

You should DEFINITELY avoid it, as far as your self-esteem, is concerned!

Ciabbata · 2025-04-06T15:24:24+00:00

If you’re feeling this drained before even diving into OLD, that’s a strong sign to hit pause. The apps can warp your perception fast—especially when your self-esteem is already on edge. You’ve got proof from real life that you can connect, attract, and build relationships. That’s gold. If you do decide to try OLD, do it from a grounded place, not a defensive one. But honestly? Lean into real-life for now. It’s where you’ve thrived before, and where the feedback loop is healthier.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-04-06T09:29:24+00:00

You want to have success with women right?

Then you need to seek out more rejection, more failure. Shoot your shot, try everything - also dating apps.

Base your self esteem and confidence on other things - not on the number of rejections you got.

Your whole mindset needs a major flip. From trying to avoid failure (current mindset) to seeking out more failure (improved mindset).

If you want to improve, you gotta learn. And to learn you gotta play the game. And playing the game means failing.

KoleSekor · 2025-04-06T14:56:42+00:00

In person is far superior for all men in the bottom 90%

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-04-06T20:51:58+00:00

Don't let height be a barrier towards your success in life, let alone just dating. Be comfortable with the cards you were dealt. Try to see it as a blessing that anyone who rejects you for your height was not worth your time anyway. Display positivity, smile and feel comfortable in your own skin even if you may be a little closer to the ground than other guys. Who cares. Make the most of it and do not let it bother you in the least. In your case, these apps can filter out shallow women for you. Height is just one thing about you; don't allow it to define you.

Get on there and try it out. Be honest and list your height if it asks. Don't list an incorrect height or make any comments on height in your profile or even volunteer conversation about any of your insecurities in messages/person. If you absolutely do get cornered about your height and are asked by someone you still think you'd like to get to know, you could smile and briefly joke about it in a very positive but humorous way and then move on. Don't ever get defensive or argumentative in any way about it.

JosLetz · 2025-04-06T10:00:39+00:00

Hey there! It sounds like you’re wrestling with a lot of conflicting thoughts about online dating (OLD) and how your height might play into it, especially given the noise you’re hearing online. Let’s break this down pragmatically.

First off, your high school experience—5 relationships and 8 partners without even initiating—suggests you’ve got something going for you. Whether it’s looks, charm, or just being in the right place at the right time, people were clearly drawn to you. That’s a solid foundation, and it didn’t hinge on you being 6’2”. Height might’ve never even crossed your mind back then because it wasn’t a barrier in real-life interactions. That’s worth keeping in perspective.

Now, the internet’s obsession with height? Yeah, it’s loud, and it’s relentless. Dating apps amplify this because filters let people pre-screen for traits like height before even giving someone a chance. Studies—like one from 2018 in Journal of Research in Personality—show height preferences do exist, especially for women on apps, where taller guys get more attention. But here’s the kicker: those same studies also show it’s not an absolute dealbreaker for most. Personality, confidence, and how you present yourself still carry a ton of weight. The online echo chamber just loves to exaggerate the extremes.

OLD can be a mixed bag for someone 5’7”. On one hand, you might face more upfront rejection from people using height filters—say, women who set a 5’10” minimum. On the other, plenty of folks don’t filter that hard, especially if your profile pops. You’ve been told you’re attractive, and if you’ve got good photos, a sharp bio, and some confidence, you’ll still get matches. The question is whether the potential hits to your self-esteem from the shallow side of OLD outweigh the convenience of meeting people you wouldn’t otherwise cross paths with.

Given your situation—20, post-breakup, socially isolated lately—OLD could be a practical tool to jumpstart things. You’re not in high school anymore, where social circles threw people at you naturally. Real-life approaches are great (and honestly, your height’s less likely to be a factor face-to-face), but they take more effort and opportunity, especially if your current routine doesn’t put you in front of new people often. OLD lowers that barrier, even if it comes with some noise.

Here’s a thought: your fear of a “self-fulfilling prophecy” is valid. If you go into OLD expecting height to tank you, every swipe-left might feel like proof, and that could mess with your head. But if you frame it as an experiment—say, “I’ll try it for a month and see what happens”—you might sidestep that trap. Lean into what you know works for you: your looks, your vibe. Post pics that show you at your best, write something clever, and don’t mention height (let them figure it out later). If it sucks, you bail and double down on IRL. No harm done.

So, is OLD worth it for you? I’d say give it a shot if you’re curious and can handle some rejection without letting it define you. Your high school track record proves you’ve got appeal, and at 20, you’re still in a prime spot to figure out what works. If the height obsession online is starting to poison your self-image, though, maybe hold off and build up your social momentum IRL first—join a club, hit the gym, whatever gets you out there. Either way, don’t let the internet’s fixation turn a non-issue into your whole story. You’ve already got evidence it’s not.

What do you think—feel like testing the waters, or sticking to what you know?

Plastic_Friendship55 · 2025-04-06T10:40:45+00:00

Since you meet people you find on dating apps in real life right after you match, what is your question? OLD is the same as all other dating. You just use a search engine to find women instead of randomly find the same women elsewhere

MysteryLiezer · 2025-04-06T09:10:25+00:00

Avoid it!

Title	Is OLD worth it for someone in my position?
Author	InevitableFlesh
Upvotes	1
Comments	38
Date	April 6, 2025 8:47 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jspqp2/is_old_worth_it_for_someone_in_my_position/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-old-worth-it-for-someone-in-my-position.1548694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548694

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