It's time I got professional help

2014-08-11T13:55:16+00:00

Dude. I remembered your name from another thread. Your problem is solely in your self esteem and attitude, not your looks or genetics or any other excuse you want to make for yourself.

You have to stop the 'woe is me' pity party in every post you make, because your attitude in day to day life is likely the same, and even if you 'act' differently around other people, your underlying attitude is still projected. Girls can sense things like that somehow, they are most likely sensing that something is 'off', and getting the wrong vibe because for some reason you appear to hate yourself.

So. What have you done to improve your life? Things turned around for me only after I took a step back, stopped freaking out and constantly obsessing over how I was alone and single, and just started living life and improving the person I was, ironically not caring about getting laid is when it randomly starts to happen. This means lifting, eating healthy, trying new things, having experiences, and overall getting BETTER at life. For some of us, it's cutting out destructive habits such as masturbation, weed, alcohol, maybe video gaming. Do all these and your confidence and self esteem improves, and you'll realise that you can do alright. It will take months and you won't really notice, until you realise you're bouncing along the street happier than ever and you don't have a care in the world. THATS when you start getting looks from hot girls you were once terrified of because you are offering something to them - a good feeling that they want more of. If your life is a pity party, you're like a void of bad emotions, what do you think you are offering if you have a bad attitude?

I have actually never really 'learned' or done any 'gaming' really, but I still get laid now and then. It's really just confidence and actually talking to women, and gaining experience. It's not about pickup lines and mystery neg qualifying routines and all that junk.

Read Models by mark manson, re read it every week if you have to.

I can tell you if you do a bootcamp you're probably just going to waste a few grand and be back where you started.

It does actually sound like therapy would be a better start so you can stop being so bitter and miserable.

Also, your date wasn't THAT bad, sounds like it was going ok but the sick friend spoiled her mood then you focussed only on the 'outcome' of kissing her despite it being a terrible time to do it. I've had worse! And you know what, you have experience from it! I had a date once where I could tell from the start that the girl was there to judge me based on a list of what she wanted in her ideal guy. It was like a job interview. Anything I said or was interested in seemed to disgust her. Techno music? Ugh!. She openly mocked me in a nasty way for being a quiet person. So that's what I'd call a bad date.

CoCaptainJack · 2014-08-10T16:20:12+00:00

wanna tell us about the date?

Wky · 2014-08-10T16:50:00+00:00

Hey pal you should tell us about your date and we can give you feedback. We are here for you.

trustmeiminnocent · 2014-08-11T03:49:35+00:00

Read those last posts. If you truly believe your a genetic failure, you should talk to a therapist or something. That's really low self-esteem and you can't succeed with that. And there are people on this subreddit that will help you, if you ever need advice or anything feel free to PM me.

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-08-11T05:57:48+00:00

I have decided I am too inexperienced to attract women

Here's the thing. How do you think you'll get the experience without approaching and going on dates? You're going to get rejected and you're going to go through awkward moments. But that's a part of the learning process. Making mistakes is a GOOD thing, because we can learn from them! (not that I'm saying you should make mistakes for the sake of making mistakes, heh)

Maybe you need professional help, maybe not. But the thing is, taking a bootcamp won't magically solve your problems. It may help with a LOT of things, but if you don't keep working on it yourself, it won't really help you in the long run.

malvad0 · 2014-08-11T06:53:42+00:00

Rsd bootcamp or hotseat

projectm35 · 2014-08-11T15:09:44+00:00

Oh man, you're just learning. You're being too hard on yourself. This shit takes time.

You sound like you've got inner game problems from this and your other post. Fix that first. Seeking validation from women is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. I've been there dude. You'll keep filling the bucket up and it'll keep emptying it. Plug the hole man. (Not that hole you dirty bastards.)

Get yourself in great shape (if you aren't already). Go to a gym and lift. Do Stronglifts or Starting Strength. Can't recommend those enough. Fix your diet.

Get some decent clothes. The web and especially the seduction sites are full of good advice on that. My favorite: go into Express or Banana Republic (on a day when everything is 40% off of course) and ask a hot girl who works there to help you. They love that shit.

Make an 18 month plan. I'm a big fan of those. Thanks Peter Drucker. 6 months inner game. 6 months approaching/hooking. 6 months closing.

AvidStudier · 2014-08-11T15:45:55+00:00

One thing you can do is start working out. Specifically going to the gym where you see others. I do this and week by week I feel better about myself. Eventually I always had at least one thing over the girls I was hitting on which was a great body. This raises your odds of being better looking than the next guy that doesn't workout. I have an average face but I pretty much have a six pack/big chest/abs(I've been going for quite a few years but normally the first half year is a drastic improvement).

When I went to this thematic party topless I got hit on by like 12 girls without me doing anything at all to the point where two times I got my dick just straight up grabbed on a stairwell then on the dance floor, and I promise you aside from good self maintenance I'm really average looking.

I have a friend that gets rejected nearly all the time (why I replied) and I get my rejected as well. You just can't let it shake you and need to accept that sometimes then fish don't bite, maybe they hardly bite at all, but you aren't going to get shit if you don't persist.

Tl;dr: A good enough haircut, fashionable clothes, a haircut, and the right mindset can get you just about anyone.

Title	It's time I got professional help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	August 10, 2014 3:24 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2d5gz6/its_time_i_got_professional_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/its-time-i-got-professional-help.1374880 https://theredarchive.com/post/1374880

Comments