We've all felt that moment where you look at a woman you want to approach and we all just watch ourselves let the moment slip away without saying something. We brush it off like it didn't happen or shame ourselves, be it due to an underlying fear of rejection, making a fool of ourselves, or having nothing to say. I hadn't found a good solution besides practice and adaptation until...

A while back I had a date setup with this beautiful woman: gorgeous, well off, intelligent, definitely dtf, but she had mentioned failed dates the previous week because they were just too nervous and she wanted a real man. This gave me both a leg up and made me a bit anxious. Fuck, what if I was that guy too? Standing outside the restaurant, waiting for her to walk up to me, I was thinking of all the ways to get my mind off the same feelings I would have when I would get approach anxiety. 5 minutes past Eta and I get a call from her and find she's gone to the wrong bar of a similar name 30 minutes away because she just plugged it into her GPS without looking, and that she'd be right over. At that point, I couldn't stop laughing, because she was totally disarmed. I had ammo on her. Of course I used it to tease her. But suddenly I was at ease. I went back in to the bar, grabbed a glass of wine - enjoyed the fuck out of it, thoroughly relaxed and even chatted up the people next to me. When she did arrive and walked up, I had a crooked smile on my face as I shook my head, greeted her and teased her about getting lost, but that it was okay because she looked ravishing(I had already told her what to wear). A smile of playful indignation came across her face "shut up, you have no idea," she said. I held my playful frame. I was in. Everything she said after that, I couldn't help teasing a bit, challenging, questioning, eliciting an explanation(ie. her qualifying herself), telling her she was too clumsy for me and we probably couldn't hang out - fake getting up to ditch her as she grabbed me to come back to my chair. For the rest of the night I had this sly, corner of my mouth, shit eating grin trying to hold back laughing at her, and that to her screamed: I'm totally gonna fuck you. .

I realized after that night, that if I approach women, even 10s, with the same preconceived ideology... that they just did something lame, hilarious, stupid, or maybe even are about trying to impress me or invest in me... I can't help but feel at ease, and if they reject me, they just did something embarrassing so who cares. Everything they do is cute, teasable, goofy to you. This is amused mastery. Not being her jester, but finding every little thing she does a clumsy adorable stumble, even when she acts confident and aloof, it's because she's trying to recover from a gaff and you can't take her seriously. And if you do offer value, tell her something funny, aka "check this out," it feels great because it's to make her feel a little bit better about being a total dork. Next time you go to approach a girl in Target, just imagine she was going to meet her gf, but is at the target on the wrong side of town.