Your relationships with men whether ONS, situationships, FWB, LTR, or marriage should be MUTUALLY beneficial.

I think a lot of women are tapping out of dating (40%?!?) because they see no point. So, im hoping more women can get attracted to the seddit community and post more content to get away from the more toxic “we hate men” subs. Lets date lots of men 😇

Disclaimer: I am NOT a dating coach, but I have been reading lots of PUA materials and actively working on flirting with men while reflecting on the women I have met who are best with men. This is an opportunity for me to learn as well. So I am open to any and all discussions and feedback.

Before we begin, we need to accept men’s animalistic sexual nature. Men wanting sex first is NOT a bad thing. In fact, it’s why society is as amazing as it is today. We should be grateful for men’s sex drives, if they were as reactive as women are - we probably would’ve died out as a species.

Accept men’s true nature. Love them for being the horny beings that they are. And know that you do NOT need to compromise who you are for them. Here’s 3 steps to rekindle your curiosity in men:

Step 1: Be decisive The first thing you need to do decide on what you want. Indecisive and insecure women get manipulated the fastest. Do you want ONS with a kind hot guy? Do you want a FWB who takes you on exotic trips? Do you want marriage with a stable guy who won’t treat you like shit? YOU CAN GET IT. But you have to stand for something. So decide now, and decide that you won’t let anything get in your way.

Step 2: Cast a wide net Matthew Hussey had this video that caught a lot of crap, but the main point is stop being a bitch. You catch more flies with honey. I struggled with this. My defenses have been so high my entire life. I never understood why men talked to me, and I wanted most of them to just leave me alone. Finally, after a failed relationship and getting played by a really sleazy guy - I decided you know what? 2 can play at this game! Now, I flirt with men everywhere. It was hard to see the results at first, hell, even now the results aren’t perfect. But within a few years I have gone from casually being acknowledged by men, to getting insane amounts of approaches and attention but never being asked out, to finally being consistently asked out on dates and given presents by guys that are courting me. I of course plan to keep stepping it up, but as an average girlie, im pretty proud of myself!

Smile and greet every man you meet and start practicing your flirting skills. Then sit back, and watch what men respond to - NOT WHAT THEY SAY. Same as men cannot rely on what women say, the advice holds true for the opposite gender lol. Men and women both don’t know what we want and will accidentally lie!!! It’s not because we intend to mislead the opposite sex, it’s because sometimes we don’t know what we respond to or we think we want something else!

Ex: I’ll never forget going to a speed dating event and meeting this handsome lawyer. He wanted a gf to take a trip with him to Europe. He was initially very attracted to me, but as I got to know him, he let out (by discussing his exes) that he loves manic pixie girl CRAZY women. I unfortunately am a bit boring and level headed during the beginning phases (i can get crazy sometimes for sure). He claimed he wants something serious, but obviously what he wanted was to tame a crazier love bombing type of girl. So ultimately, this guy got a little bored with me and we fizzled out. all of this to say, watch everything about them. They say they want certain things but maybe they go crazy for girls who do not act like the more “wifey material” claims a lot of online spaces will have you believe. Because men are NOT a monolith. And mostly desperate guys online are the ones who want “good girls”.

Step 3: Enjoy your dates Don’t be too available to men so they have time to miss you and ask you out on dates. If you’re always texting him, he’ll get bored and will never want to ask you out. I’d say check in once a day for 3-7 days, if he doesn’t ask you out after a week, he’s either shy or not that into you. Do a sanity check and say you’re interested in trying a place and ask if he’d be open to go. If he doesn’t budge, you need to let him go and talk to other men. Always always always talk to other men until you get to date 2. I think that’s when it’s established you both kind of like each other.

If a man asks you straight to his place, I actually think most women do deny this because only 1/100 men will ask but it’s still super annoying. Tell him that’s a horrible idea and ghost him. (Unless you don’t care about your safety, then by all means who cares do it). More women need to shame these men and stop talking with them because the audacity they have is disgusting.

After the guy has asked you on a date, be prepared to have lots of fun. Go on the date, be forward and flirty, if he’s not spoiling you and flirting back - tell him you’re not interested after the date and don’t be afraid to say why. Honestly, everyone deserves feedback. But if he’s not flirting with you, or at least TRYING he’s probably gonna be a horrible fuck. If a man isn’t treating your right outside of the bedroom, he will NEVER treat you right inside of the bedroom. I have never understood women who say “oh this guy who i went on 6 dates with that never asked me a question about myself was horrible in the bedroom and i didn’t orgasm”, like duh Susie. Don’t take that out on all men, CHOOSE BETTER. Just because you vetted him as a guy who won’t aggressively manipulate you for sex, doesn’t mean he’ll be worth the sex. And this will continue to create a string of bitter women. Ensure you both discuss your intentions and TAKE YOUR TIME. Just because you want a FWB does NOT mean you need to sleep with him immediately after the first date. You’re allowed to go on a few dates and vet him. Enjoy his company.

Conclusion: Don’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinions. I was debating on hiring a dating coach to get me to the next level, and I realized, most aren’t capable of teaching me what I want to learn or to get what I want to get. I’m not even saying im capable of teaching you. But we have to get out there and pave our own paths. I recommend books such as “The courage to be disliked”, “why men love bitches”, and “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” to start your journey to no longer listening to the opinions of other people who don’t actually care about what you want. Keep your self preservation and your standards high.

xoxo