Learning Inner Game

rmbarnes · 2010-03-28T20:45:08+00:00

What has been the most useful technique or material for you to amp up your confidence, change the way you see the world, and just generally give you the attitude you needed to be successful at this and other pursuits?

Lets break this down into smaller chunks so we can tackle this more effectively:

What has been the most useful technique or material for you to amp up your confidence

The most useful technique that I know of is to do a ton of approaches without giving a fuck what other people think. There is no "inner game" way of improving confidence. Don't believe me? Let me ask you this: how confident are you in your ability to walk a mile? Pretty confident? That's because you've presumably been walking for most of your life, and you've done it enough times that you feel confident doing in any situation that might require walking. Confidence with women works the same way. You can't sit down and do some affirmation or some other technique to "psyche" yourself out, it won't work as effectively as just doing a ton of approaches.

There are tons of gurus that will try to sell you on the idea that you can buy their stuff and get confidence, but they're lying. You do the approaches, then you get the confidence.

What has been the most useful technique or material [to]...change the way you see the world?

I would recommend any evolutionary psychology books for this, a few of my recommends include:

Sperm Wars - Robin Baker

The Red Queen - Matt Ridley

I asked the /r/seduction about some good evo psyche books a while back, check that thread for more recommends. The key to this I think is to not view sex as some special, magical act, but rather just something that people do for fun or whatever.

What has been the most useful technique or material [to]...give you the attitude you needed to be successful at this and other pursuits?

"The Attraction Code" was a pretty good book for changing the way you think about dating, seduction, and what an alpha really is. I also found a lot of RSD's stuff helpful as well. I haven't looked at all of their stuff, but The Blueprint Decoded is good, and also Flawless Natural.

But the general idea I would propose to you is to view women as members of your "team" who want what you want (sex) and there is equal value between the two of you. The early ideas of seduction were of the persuasion that attractive women were of higher value than the "pickup artist" who was doing the approach. So a number of tactics were devised to bring her value down while simultaneously raising the PUA's value. This works, and continues to do so, but it doesn't work as well (IMHO) as just rolling up with the assumption that the value is equal and that there is no "battle" to be fought. Also, keep in mind that "negs" and "cocky funny" type stuff are fine, they work and are fun, but don't do them because you are trying to make yourself more valuable (you already are valuable) do them because they amuse you.

Does this make sense?

idkcosby · 2010-03-28T20:31:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

dan_proto · 2010-05-09T05:43:13+00:00

Buddhism and separation from my ego.

These two thoughts specifically come in handy: "I am entitled to a good time" and "if I'm not having fun then it's my fault."

Deacon · 2010-03-29T15:11:53+00:00

When you get confident enough to dismiss the entire "seduction community" as a bunch of poseurs, you will be there:

The most useful technique that I know of is to do a ton of approaches without giving a fuck what other people think.

Title	Learning Inner Game
Author	doctorbs
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	March 28, 2010 7:57 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bjehl/learning_inner_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/learning-inner-game.1310058 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310058

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