Looking for dating advice

11c3v · 2025-01-04T11:47:34+00:00

i'll say 2 things and thats fuck alcohol and good luck! you know you can do it, just get used to cold approach

pways · 2025-01-04T12:52:48+00:00

If money isn’t an issue than maybe look into getting a reputable coach so you at least have some strategy

DaygameCode · 2025-01-04T13:07:30+00:00

Women test men to see if they are actually confident in who they are, confident in what they do and say, the situation they are in, and whether they are comfortable in their own skin or not. You only fail the test when you show you are not comfortable in your own skin and doubt yourself.

Let’s say you go to a bar by yourself, the first thing a woman will test you on is precisely what she feels would be your most obvious flaw or insecurity.

If you feel it’s weird, then that’s exactly what she will say:

Her: “Did you come to the bar alone? Where are your friends? It’s kind of weird to come to a bar alone”

A person who isn’t confident in himself immediately feels ashamed after hearing this type of question, he panics trying desperately to justify himself, offering excuses like, “Oh, my friends are coming later,” or “I was supposed to meet someone,” hoping to mask his insecurity.

But in doing so, he reveals his discomfort with the situation, confirming the woman’s suspicion that he’s not fully comfortable in his own skin.

Instead, a confident man reframes the situation and owns it unapologetically:

Her: “Did you come to the bar alone? Where are your friends?”

Him: “Yeah, I did. It’s more fun to meet new people this way. are you offering to be my first new friend tonight?”

This response demonstrates three key things:

Self-assurance: You’re comfortable being alone and don’t feel the need to explain yourself.

Playfulness: You keep the tone light and confident, making it clear that her question doesn’t faze you.

Control of the frame: You shift the focus back to her, subtly implying she’s part of your experience now.

When you respond with this kind of composure, it not only diffuses her “test,” but also makes her feel intrigued and drawn to your energy. Women are naturally attracted to men who are secure in who they are, regardless of the situation.

If she judges you: “_It’s kinda weird to come to a bar alone_”.

A confident person wouldn’t justify himself neither, first of all “being weird” is not something he would take as an insult or a flaw, he would own that tag because he believes:

Being weird = being different

And, being different = strength

He takes “being weird” as a badge of honor.

So you could respond: “Totally. Imagine how boring life would be if everyone stuck to the normal script.” or “Thank you, i was worried you’d call me normal”

Confidence is not about proving you are normal to feel good about yourself, it’s about showing that you don’t need to be.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-01-04T13:51:45+00:00

Man, apart from dating advice I would suggest you to find a guy friend. Maybe someone from your neighbors or friends from your high school.

I’ve seen nasty things with middle aged guys and loneliness, it’s like a black hole slowly sucks them in.

I think this is one area where we are very lacking compared to women. Guys tend to be lonelier when they get older when women always have best friends at least 1-2. You’d think it may have nothing to do with dating world, but it does. Friends can listen to you venting out and give you advice about your relationship, women do this all the time.

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-01-04T15:51:26+00:00

Social game bro. Build up a social circle by going to social events without the pressure of dating. Reach out if you want more advice on this.

Prestigious_Ad_9013 · 2025-01-04T17:01:03+00:00

Best of luck. I like to find a chill bar that's not too loud. I'm more for convo with the tender & other solo people than women specific - but it is good training talking to the bar Characters abt anything & everything

StepGeneral3597 · 2025-01-05T01:44:05+00:00

Make an agreement that you’ll approach at least one set before drinking (guys, girls, doesn’t matter at first). Or that every night you go out you have to hit a certain number of sets, even if it’s just a quick compliment. It seems like you just got to start getting used to being social/talking to girls/women. Go to very crowded venues, so you know no one gives a fuck or notices you. Try dancing. Try day game if you really want to conquer your AA and without alcohol. I’ve done this so I give myself permission to have a couple beers in night game and I’ve been approaching every time I go out.

KoleSekor · 2025-01-04T13:36:09+00:00

No need to be socially anxious because you're at a bar alone. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Choose to make it and see it as cool.

Talk to everyone and enjoy yourself. Be comfortable with and enjoy your own company.

If you decide you'd like to get a coach, I do virtual coaching sessions, have tailored programs and strategies, and provide the best possible resources.

vivek_david_law · 2025-01-04T18:29:18+00:00

One reason my social anxiety creeps in is because I usually go to bars solo, and I just assume girls think I’m weird for going solo.

I don't think that's unusual at all. I would also feel extremely anxious about going to bars solo and trying to strike up conversations or friendships whether it be for romantic or platonic purposes. That sounds extremely awkward. I can't imagine it being different for anyone but the most extraverted people.

So maybe the best strategy is to find alternative ways of meeting people. I think that may be easier said than done because there really is a dearth of social activities available to people but hopefully you can look around and try to find something.

or maybe even practicing cold approaches in the street I haven't done that but hopefully others who have can give better insights.

I think that's the major problem unfortunately there aren't many good venues to meet people now

Dependent_Jump9873 · 2025-01-06T06:39:22+00:00

Try these Pickup artists on YouTube. 1) tod v dating 2) coach kyle. They’re both really good and have literally broke down everything. From socializing, making friends, what to say, escalation ect.

Title	Looking for dating advice
Author	Academic_Put_300
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	January 4, 2025 11:39 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1htcog3/looking_for_dating_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/looking-for-dating-advice.1540359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540359

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