I'm 32 in NYC. I've been on so many dates (25+) this year and barely (maybe zero) second dates. Primarily meet them on dating apps and a handful in person. It's a combination of me not interested, them not interested, both not interested, etc. I also tend to overthink about my dating life in general (separate convo).

I went on a first date (from an app) with a really cool girl and really good looking. It was a sober date, dinner and ice cream, and we had a great time. I didn't make a move (because I just don't on first dates unless I'm really getting a vibe that she's super interested).

At the end of the date, she said "hey I think we'd be really good as friends and you're by far one of the coolest people I've met on these apps" and then offered to put me in touch with her friend (for networking because I'm job hunting), and wanted to go to a concert together soon (because we both love live music). It was great to have somebody be direct/honest in person and seemingly wanted to make a new friend at the end of a date but it stung because we had a good time and she still wasn't interested. It kind of sent me into an analytical whirlwind where I was thinking what red flags could have I showed while on the date, or was it my physical traits (my height - I'm 5'5, my clothes, my dark circles, my hair, etc.), or was it something else. I kept telling myself to not make assumptions or give her that kind of power and she just wasn't interested and to move on from it and maybe hit her up to hang out as a friend at some point.

Then the very next day, I went to a small show and ran into a younger kid I know (I think he's 24-ish) and we were talking about another live music event we both went a few weeks ago. He goes on to tell me that some foreign girls we met that night, he ended up sleeping with one of them that night. On the outside, I was super happy for him. On the inside, I was dead. Here I am, going on a million dates, can't get a second date and apparently great at making friends, but this young kid, who is taller, and a really nice guy and had a genuine spark with one of the girls (not really the type to go full-on when pursuing women), had sex the first night he met them.

I'm just frustrated and venting. Not even sure what kind of response I'm looking for but yea...