My first 2 approacges

getyourlifeplease · 2019-04-15T13:43:33+00:00

If it is ok, id like to offer a few pointers:

I asked her where she worked and she asked "why"? I said I'm just asking. Just wanna get to know you.

I also found myself repeatedly telling her that I think she was cute that's why I said hi. I kept trying to justify that I'm not wrong in approaching her because I found her cute.

This was a bit much and way too personal too quick. When you started out with saying hi and telling her you thought she was cute - that was PERFECT! The fact she acknowledged and shook your hand was good...but right after that is where you may have missed a few signs. If she went right back to her phone immediately after yall shook hands - she wasnt interested and you should take that sign and walk away. From that moment, no matter what you say, it would be a turnoff to her because the interest wasnt there.

Then I asked her if she wants to sit somewhere in the mall and just talk. She smiled and said I should probably get going. And I said okay and bye.

This is where you shouldve asked for her TN# so that you can go on a coffee date or something...but honestly her saying she had to get going right after you asked her to hang, meant she wasnt really into the conversation like that. I (F) have had some guy randomly sit next to me in public and strike up a casual convo, and Ive engaged back...but it was again, casual chat. I had no intentions toward these guys, and so when they would ask for my #, Id turn them down nicely. So in this case, it wasnt that you did anything wrong or missed any sign...she just wanst into you, and thats ok!

I found myself running out of things to say, questioning the girl, not self amusing and most importantly I found myself repeatedly telling the girls that I approached them cause I saw them and thought that they looked cute.

Being honest...this could be REALLY uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable!!!!!! A guy that keeps telling you he thinks you are cute ir keeps asking question after question (even personal ones), comes across as if he is a little too desperate (not saying YOU are...just letting you know what impression that leaves), and girls dont respond positively to that.

You get props for even approaching girls and putting yourself out there. Seriously that shit is hard to do and you obviously have some balls! Good for you. Just adjust your approach a bit. Good luck.

un_comfortable_ · 2019-04-15T13:43:18+00:00

Do 50 more approaches atleast. Reach a stage where you are able to talk to sets the way you do with your girlfriend. 1. Go with an empty head to the set. 2. If you can’t think of anything, just stand there like wall, until the set exits.

zincSF · 2019-04-15T14:30:12+00:00

The idea of the earliest stage of an open is two-fold: #1, communicate you interest (i.e,. you are interested in HER in a man->woman sort of way, not in directions or an opinion etc.). You did that perfectly. #2, GET HER TALKING ABOUT HERSELF. Asking questions right out of the box can work, but usually doesn't. The tried and true method is to rephrase your question about herself as an assumptive statement. Some teasing at this stage isn't bad too. I opened a woman a few days ago with a follow up of "you look like a flamingo with that hair!", which she had sticking straight up into a little flowerpot look on top of her head, with some pink. So make a comment about what you see in her that is amusing or a decent guess. For example, "looks like you are heading off to the yoga studio or something" isn't horrible. Or if she's wearing vibrant colors, "by the looks of those clothes you look like a very creative kind of person". If she doesn't respond in an active way (fiddling with phone, looking away, not really responding), but she hasn't just said "I gotta go", TRY AGAIN. Keep talking. Once she gives you ANYTHING back, vibe off it, comment off it, maybe tease a little off it. Try to hook her, which means that she engages and (the official hook point) asks a question of you. The moment that happens...lower the energy a bit and go more standard conversational, At that stage, it's okay to ask a few questions, because it's now normal conversation.

Good work and keep it up, the field will inform you!

Ducharbaine · 2019-04-15T14:55:23+00:00

Vary the 'cute' thing. Cute is pretty generic and neutral. Not bad but not great. Try to focus in choices she made, so the compliment is to something about her personality or expression. If you like, say, her quirky style, say that. You could say she is 'striking' which covers both her style and physical attractiveness and tells her how you felt about it.

Its possible to go too far with it. You don't want to sound like one of the stars of queer eye. Def don't belabor the compliments. One and done or its cringy.

I'd also like to point out not to bug girls at work. They are stuck there, are forced to be nice to you, and could maybe be fired if they try to leave or tell you to fuck off.

zincSF · 2019-04-15T14:34:55+00:00

For the second open, fantastic. How many minutes until the attempt at an instant date? Usually you need a minimum of 5 minutes to build enough connection and interest for success there I think. When she said "I've got to go", you should try for a # (or other social link) close, with "hey, I'd like to get to know you a little better, let me get your # and I'll text you about getting a coffee or drink together soon", as you pull out your phone. The worst she can say is "sorry, gotta go, bye!".

the_sapien · 2019-04-15T16:30:13+00:00

first girl was impolite (if she was not interested, she should have politely told you to go away rather than staring at the phone while you were talking)

i would say next time try and be more specific, compliment her about something they are wearing (i told someone pver the weekend 'that scarf looks really great on you')

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2019-04-15T17:51:13+00:00

You did great. I am a direct kind of guy, and most often will use a similar line... "Hey... I just saw you sitting here and wanted to come over and say hi... what is your name? I always get a name...

Now... you need to consider your physicals. Did you make solid eye contact with her, before you started talking? Did she see you coming to her, or did you creep up on her. Did you walk up to her with a good manly stance; head up, chest out, arms swinging, big manly steps... And last but not least, did you smile or smirk when talking to her?

These are all things you can practice in a mirror, its easy.

Also, there are thousands of videos on Youtube about "Observational Openers". I love anything by Todd Valentine, but there are some others that have solid points about how not to run out of things to say and how to ask the girl about her...

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=observational+openers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8_TBjaiNUk

Also, last point. Many won't be interested. Like a lot. Like maybe 8 out of 10... so don't get frustrated and keep going. Eventually you will meet someone, who may just ask you a few questions back...

yungscyghe · 2019-04-15T13:17:47+00:00

This is nice!

Dilpil01 · 2019-04-15T17:23:44+00:00

Try not use the word cute during the entire interaction. Opening with a remark telling her you're talking to her purely because she is good looking is not a very good opener to me personally, although others may disagree. Try to be a bit clever and more socially savey, open with something situationally, say you need help with something that can start the interaction, if you're in a clothes store ask what she thinks of an item you're looking at, that can lead into a conversation about fashion, etc etc. The convo needs to go somewhere and she needs to be engaged. You need to be intelligent about how to make this happen or you'll just do interview questions forever.

Notgaytoday · 2019-04-15T17:50:18+00:00

If she won't stop looking at her phone for 30 seconds, you're toast. If she seemed to be engaged in the conversation you could have said,
Lets go inside the mall and get something to drink, OK? and we can chat for a few minutes... what do you like?

ruga2 · 2019-04-15T18:15:51+00:00

Where do you work is not a good question. Is just a piece of data. That's why it fells like an interview.

You have to make her, tell you, why she is to be loved. What is cool about her, what his dreams are.

Why she works there? Is she saving for something? What does she dreams to buy?

Make it fun. Make jokes about it. Assume she is a bit weird, and wants to buy absurd stuff, like bags for smoking burgers.

Guess where does she works instead of asking.

Look at her suspiciously. Ask if she saw the shoe perv the police is looking for. Ask if she likes shoes, then accuse her of being the wanted one.

Title	My first 2 approacges
Author	freakyassaasin
Upvotes	29
Comments	28
Date	April 15, 2019 1:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bdfv75/my_first_2_approacges/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-first-2-approacges.1466530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1466530

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