Need help from you guys...

penguintux · 2012-08-15T20:50:27+00:00

You're probably going to have to study some seduction, not just look for a few quick tips. I'll tell you why.

I do have a type: tall (I am 5'8", and I want to be able to wear my four inch heels and still feel feminine and petite), athletic (I melt for a guy who played football or lacrosse in college)

you could be waiting years before you meet someone with these conditions who is interested in you if you are following conventional dating methods. You are going to have to study PUA, be very attractive or be lucky to get someone reasonably quickly who is also a 'good guy'. Think about it, how many men do you think you come into contact with your friends or at work that are around your age and are single? then, subtract everyone who is under 6'3" (huge drop there), built, career oriented and smart.

When you were younger, It may have been easier because you could just go to a bar and (quite literally) bump into someone and they'd be willing to date you without very much thought. As the mind gets older it gets 'domesticated' and becomes more sensitive to what is acceptable to society and more discerning about what it wants.

TheCircumcisedMan · 2012-08-15T22:36:47+00:00

You're getting old. You're aren't as hot as you use to be. Confidence means very little to men. You write like you've become an entitle bitch and with out the 20 year old pussy to back it up.

You say you've been on 30lbs. Guess what? You're fat then. 30lbs on a 5'8" is fucking huge. If I put on 30lbs of muscle I would look like the god damn hulk, and that is much fucking denser.

Cut the bullshit, start losing some weight, learn to cook well, and be feminine. Be shy, be prude, and be conservative. These are things you will need to snag a decent man. At your age snagging any kind of alpha male is a long shot.

avonv · 2012-08-15T22:18:24+00:00

first of all, anyone who disagrees with "looks" being the main reason why a guy approaches someone at a bar or club is delusional. that is the harsh reality - in venues like bars and clubs, your are fighting for the attention of those guys against all other women. there are some exceptions to this - but you need to have a really awesome personality/charisma/social side to you to overcompensate and even then you still need "passable" looks.

always smile and show that you respect the guy. eye contact is somewhat important, but if you really want to make big strides it sounds like you need to be the one to do some of the approaching too.

anyways, reading through your post reminds me why i will forever be a west coast guy to the death and prefer west coast girls. you come off like some sex-and-the-city type chick and you sound like you are auditioning for some j-crew ad campaign.

"melt for a guy who played football or lacrosse in college" - that is beyond superficial to say, seeing how if you met a guy your age, they would be 8-10 years removed from that. that is just flat out weird.

commenting on other men's cities / attire / etc. - again, you are being superficial. not that i don't agree with some of your characterizations of douches, but i am a straight guy and not the person here who is trying to meet guys.

and the fact that you are doing great in your job / paid off you loans is somewhat of a plus, but if you are trying to attract some equally wealthy successful attractive guy he would probably rather date an aspiring actress / football cheerleader / model than you because they have far more free time to spend with him. if you spend 12 hours at work each day that is not so attractive, and there is a fine line between a woman being independent / successful and her becoming far too obsessed with her career.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-08-15T21:18:39+00:00

First of all A+ for funny creative writing, keep it up.

I hear you when you say 30 lbs, and that to me it's 35 lbs too many, stop your social life for 90 days, go to /r/Fitness , start lifting heavy and eat properly; and in 90 days you will have a body of someone 10 years younger than you.

THEN you can go out.

If you want to get laid, bars and clubs are great.

If you want something more meaningful, start doing the activities that you really like and that are co-ed social (the flower club is social, but not really co-ed; neither is a book club). Meetup.com is a great resource.

A good guy will smell a good woman from 3 3/4 bocks away on a foggy day.

As far as maintaining a relationship: keep up with the gym/nutrition, that's a lifestyle not a band-aid; how good are you in the sack? Your fellatio skills? I hope you enjoy a good protein shake.

bcktth · 2012-08-16T02:34:16+00:00

First and foremost, cut the "I want" mentality for what you look for in a partner. This will only leave feeling suffering and disappointment. I tell this to my friends and chime in how because of that I'll gladly fuck anyone from 18 to their gave. We only limit ourselves by keeping laundry list of things we want from a partner.

Next, don't kid yourself if you need to get in better shape, continue on your track to doing so. Reading your post you skirt around the issue but the truth is, is that people our age (I'll be 30 in a month) need to work harder to maintain our physical shape/condition then when we were 20 or so. At well, drink plenty of water, work out, maintain your hair/nails/etc. and gave it so people think you're younger then what you actually are.

And finally, you do well in your career and finances but what about yourself? Really, do you take time practicing a hobby, pampering yourself by the pool side once/twice a week, or take a moment in the ay to ponder how you honestly doing? In our age t is easy to neglect ourselves in order to get our work tasks robe sooner or balance our spending amount and bills. But take one to truly relax and enjoy yourself.

Reckless911 · 2012-08-15T19:59:02+00:00

You starts to get what you want when you stop trying so hard.

redditsdaddy · 2012-08-15T13:46:42+00:00

Female here but I can tell you that eye contact has always gotten me dates with the guys I wanted. You lock eyes for a solid 3 seconds, smile and look away. Wait a bit and do it again. If he smiles at you it's an open invitation, if he quickly turns away then you're probably not what he's looking for (a lot of guys go for one-nighters so if you appear to be more stable they may not be interested, which may not be a bad thing for you).

I can tell you that everything you want in a man- be prepared to be let down. You will meet someone who meets maybe one of your criteria and realize that in all his imperfection, nobody could possibly better fit your lifestyle. I'm 6' and my husband is 5' 8''. I used to live in heels but have forgone them for flats (as a wedding gift to my husband!) You learn to give and take and adapt.

bllyboy · 2012-08-15T16:37:13+00:00

A girl that's having a good time or is unaccompanied... We approach girls that generally look "Sexy" or "Hot". After we approach, if she's interesting to chat with, we take it from there.

2012-08-17T07:59:37+00:00

You're looking for a guy above 6 feet and "successful" in a world where owning a tv is enough to categorize you in the top 10% richest in the world. Objectively, that is a lot to ask for, and you don't seem to offer that much, no offense.

You're not entitled to any type of really awesome guy, you simply will get what you deserve. My type is tall russian supermodels but that's probably not going to happen and I'm not going to turn down any girl who doesn't confrom to that and I'm not going to complain about how unfair life is because I can't get a tall russian supermodel.

2012-08-15T18:55:55+00:00

Start going out to have fun, not to get hit on is number one. Females that gain my attention are doing their own thing. Get a group of your girls together and go out on the town for some dinner and drinks.

I just recently imposed myself on a table of older women (i'm 24, and they were in their 30's) because they looked to be having fun, so I wanted to join in, and I did. They were not looking around, they were looking at chatting at each other. Make sure you are an odd number, and leave one chair open, on the outside of the table, and you sit next to that chair. Don't put any pocket books, purses, jackets, etc in it either, it needs to be open as if you're inviting someone in.

If you do look around a little, make direct eye contact and give a slight smile, but nothing too heavy, or you'll attract a guy that thinks you're looking for his wiener, and not conversation. Don't keep eye contact for longer than 2 seconds (2 seconds feels forever when you're staring down a stranger).

Start there :)

2012-08-15T23:06:41+00:00

Ok. Looks matter. Sorry :/ But a woman in her thirties can look damn smoking, so stop buying : Chocolate, ice cream, cookies, cakes, soda (that includes diet...it fucks with your insulin levels) and whatever is: sugary snack. Have 1 day a week where you allow yourself to eat some of it. In time your sugar cravings will make you not want these things anymore. Trust me. When hungry eat high fibre stuff. It fills you up quick and keeps your hunger away for hours.

Exercise: Do strength exercies (you will never bulk up, I promise) and complement with jogging and/or aerobics. Avoid spinning. It builds your thigh and butt muscles too much (trust me).

Now that you have got that in order.

Don't go to clubs to find a life partner. Guys go to clubs to get laid first. Secondly, if they fluke out and she's a nice person he might follow up.

Make yourself available in shops, coffe shops...whatever. Anywhere. You can approach, but do it in a: "Oh. I am looking for this thing. You know where it is?" Make eye contact, smile and look down, then up again. It's the signal for: "seduce me please" ... If he doesn't take the bait, ...well he's a dud :D

Oh. You should be proud of your career and what you have achieved. Sadly, since you are certainly looking for a guy with the same accomplishments, there is little point in making a huge point about those things. You can certainly mention it, but to guys who have a stable economy, that doesn't really matter to them much. I have never heard any guys say they are looking for a girl with a good career anyways. Of course, they can't be homeless either, but you get the point.

Good luck. :)

MaverickJC · 2012-08-15T23:06:28+00:00

I'd love if this was trick by Seddit to see how our general populace react to what some may see as a 'catch.'

Title	Need help from you guys...
Author	duckynyc
Upvotes	12
Comments	18
Date	August 15, 2012 1:43 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y9e4y/need_help_from_you_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help-from-you-guys.1337354 https://theredarchive.com/post/1337354

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