Need help getting over some serious oneitis

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-23T11:56:15+00:00

1) Cut contact 2) Don't bother telling her the reasons it's over - it just comes off as bitter and bitchy and kind of signals that you're really not over her. If you were finding yourself in the rainforest surrounded by amazonian women willing to fuck you on command you probably wouldn't bother sending some pissy text message. Similarly if you were a musician who had just recieved his first break and was touring you probably wouldn't bother... you get the point.

3) It's hard, agreed - but distance and time away is the key cure to this.

4) Have sex/dating/etc. with other people

SureImShore · 2015-12-23T16:45:51+00:00

Girls will pull this shit when they stop getting attention from you. Once she knows you're still "into her" and she can get attention from you, she'll return to bitch mode. There's a tendency to idealize a relationship when its over; thinking of only the good times, great sex, etc. Remember all the bullshit she pulled. THAT is who she really is.

Cut contact. Do not respond to her texts, calls, etc. Once she realizes you're doing this, she'll come up with bullshit excuses to try to get you back on the hook. Do not fall for this trap.

Not saying you have to freeze her out completely (cause you have a similar group of friends), but just keep things to the absolute minimum. You don't need to be a dick, but this girl is never going to be your friend, and you shouldn't be trying to hook up with her. She is a non-entity to you now.

joshsway · 2015-12-23T18:04:44+00:00

https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/overcoming-advanced-oneitis

2015-12-24T01:00:38+00:00

The difference between one-itis and heartbreak is huge. It's not just semantic, they are two completely different things.

One-itis: the best example of this is when you are in a club, you spot a girl you think is hot, she gives you a lukewarm but palatable response, and you spend the rest of the night pursuing her and trying to convince her to go home with you even after she makes it totally clear that she isn't interested. It isn't limited to girls in bars, it could be a friend, acquaintance or whatever, but the basic idea is that you can't get over her, and she is just not into you at all. Getting over one-itis really just requires a basic social mechanism of noticing when someone isn't into you, getting over it quickly and moving onto the next woman.

Heartbreak is completely different. You have developed a deep psychological dependence on this other person, and it becomes difficult to even imagine being with someone else.

My heartbreaks have lasted anywhere from one to five years with varying (and often unpredictable) degrees of effect. The best way to deal with heartbreak is just to accept it. All of the other advice here is sound: cut off contact, keep yourself busy, find a mission, yes yes, all of that. But you also have to just accept that you will feel the pain, and pain isn't always a bad thing. If you can mitigate the most repulsive side-effects of heartbreak like neediness, cynicism, etc., then being heartbroken can even be a positive thing with new women you encounter. As much as they say they don't want a project, their instincts implore them to heal the wounded dove.

Also watch Swingers.

And don't ever talk about your ex in any detail with a new girl.

letsgetrandy · 2015-12-24T19:17:08+00:00

God damn it.

She's just a girl. You won't realize that until you've been with several girls.

The only solution for you is to go find other girls. You need to have several so that you can begin to understand that they're all (mostly) the same, and you don't need any one of them because you can always find another.

New2ThisLyfe · 2015-12-26T05:14:35+00:00

Write out a list of 10 things that are worth staying away from her for.

(NOT backhanded compliments either). Refer to list when tempted.

Title	Need help getting over some serious oneitis
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	December 23, 2015 11:27 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3xyb3u/need_help_getting_over_some_serious_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help-getting-over-some-serious-oneitis.1399575 https://theredarchive.com/post/1399575

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