Some time ago, I wrote a post on this sub in which I expressed my intention to begin an exercise in which I went out and approached women each weekend until I had approached 100, and asked whether it would be acceptable for me to post nightly accounts of such ventures on this sub in order to keep motivated (SelectSelect75 (u/SelectSelect75) - Reddit). All of the commenters expressed that this would be acceptable, so until someone else tells me otherwise, I will continue doing this. The following post comprises account #17.

Context and goals:

Since last week, I’ve started to do day game, trying to approach three women every time I go out during the day (which I do 3 – 5 times a week). I’m not going to write and post full reports of my daytime sessions unless something particularly notable happens – for I’d have nothing to say. Instead, I’m just going to keep a separate, private tally of my daytime approaches for each week and add that to my overall tally upon writing my end-of-the-week reports. This week, I only approached 3. This will increase over time, however; please note that I was slightly under-the-weather this week.

For tonight, it’s back to the bar between 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM after a one-week break due to poor weather and the aforementioned brief, mild illness. Mind you, my heart still isn’t 100% in it, so I’m not going to push myself too hard tonight – 5 approaches, unless too many of those turn out to be immediate duds. Even if my heart was 100% in it, my goals would remain the same: open with something observational, quickly establish a false time constraint, smile, maintain eye contact, talk slowly, talk deeply, try not to say “umm” or “err”, try to make an assumption and/or make them laugh each time I manage to get a conversation going, and test for compliance each time I manage to do so.

Account:

I don’t know why or how, but by some happenstance or mechanism, after I set out tonight, my confidence level shot up tenfold and I ultimately considerably overshot my quota, doing 12 approaches, which is a new record for me, if I recall correctly. I also did a considerable number of venue changes, popping into around 10 different bars after leaving the initial one, which is definitely a new record for me. Going forward, as the number of approaches I do each night exceeds 10, I’m no longer going to be able to remember each one nor have anything worth recounting about each of them, so I’m not going to. Instead, I’m only going to recount anything which seems particularly notable. As such, my accounts are likely to get briefer from here on out.

Out of the 12 approaches, I got 1 immediate rejection, 8 conversations, 2 strong laughs and 2 phone number rejections. My approaches tonight were very rapid-fire, occurring one-after-the-other without even any five-minute breaks between them. There was also one woman who I was both attracted to and whom I thought I had particularly good chemistry with – she complimented me on and played with my hair (which I’m growing out, and is now slightly longer than shoulder-length), and let me play with hers. I was able to her number via the correct methodology this time – asking her if she’d had a good time tonight (to which she said “yes”), asking her if she’d like to do this again sometime, and then telling her to put her number in as opposed to asking for it. Alas, she did not respond to me when I texted her, but I’m gonna give that one more shot today. I also performed one approach tonight in a context I’ve never performed an approach in before – whilst waiting in line outside a bar.

Reflection:

Approaching is simply getting more and more and more easy for me. I can now start from the moment I enter the bar, hesitating for barely a few seconds and experiencing barely a bang of apprehension, and can move on to the next one immediately after finishing without even a five-minute break. It’s like raising my arm or turning my head – I just don’t think anything of it anymore. The number of times I can approach in a given night is now largely limited to the number of times I can be bothered going through the same routine of introducing myself, cracking jokes, etc. over and over again. I must admit that it took me less time to become able to approach outside of Meetups, and do 10 or more in one night, than I thought it would when I started this. I’m also becoming more accustomed to nightlife – I no longer feel quite so tired during the later hours and can change venues multiple times with zero effort.

And yet, despite my best efforts, consistently getting to the stage at which I feel like there’s enough chemistry between myself and a girl for it to be worth trying to get her number remains elusive. All of my improvement seems to be limited to the realm of approaching. Next week will bring me to 100 approaches – which is probably more cold approaches than the average man does in their entire life – and there’s still no sign of a date anywhere on the horizon. I want to stress that, once again, I won’t even consider giving up until after I’ve gotten at least one date (well, that or unless I get to like 1,000 approaches without one) but all the same, I’m finding it very hard to envision this ever actually going anywhere.

Tally:

Primary goal: 100 approaches.

Secondary goal: 1 date.

Tertiary goal: 100 immediate rejections.

Temporary goal: make 30 women/sets laugh.

Approaches: 96 (3 day approaches, 12 night approaches this week).

Immediate rejections: 19.

Conversations: 44.

Laughs: 9.

Phone number rejections: 22.

Phone numbers: 6.

Dates: 0.

Sex: 2.

Relationships: 0.

Breakups: 0.