I don't know if this is really a field report but I thought I'd share as it's really given me an insight on dating apps from a woman's perspective

For context, a couple of weeks ago I was catching up with a female friend and at some point we started talking about Tinder. I asked if I could see her profile on her phone and she obliged.

The first thing that hit me was that she had over 1500 likes hidden behind the paywall. I know that's not exactly a big secret of the woman tinder experience but seeing it in real life was quite the sight. She said she had been on there for about two weeks, that's easily more likes than I have ever had on tinder all up over the years.

She then bought tinder gold because she decided she wanted to thin it out and because she wanted to show me the guys liking her.

The second and biggest thing that struck me was how generic looking most of the guys were. Not ugly but Like short back and sides hair, graphic tee from the local chain store, mismatched or badly fitted clothes, generic semi formal friend picture, generic shakabro summer picture, you get the idea. It really hit me how with just a little bit of effort on style and grooming you can stand out from all these guys, on tinder but also in real life.

She ended up going through all the guys over the course of our hangout swiping left on most profiles without even looking past the first picture, occasionally stopping on a profile before swiping left on seeing a picture she didn't like. Out of all the 1500 plus profiles she probably matched with less than 10.

Your pictures matter but your first picture really fucking matters!!!

She showed me some of the messages guys send but nothing there really stuck out to me other than the "smooth" sexy messages aren't as smooth on the receiving end, but I guess that depends on context.

I know most of this stuff is already well known but it was fascinating seeing it played out. And while it was a little bit depressing knowing that this is probably the experience for my profile, it really stuck with me how just a little bit more effort on your appearance could make you stand out from all the generic dudes.

Has anyone else had a similar experience and had observations to add?