On letting go

NeutralBias · 2012-07-29T08:06:37+00:00

I'm in the same situation as you.

I started sleeping with this ladyfriend of mine that went through a bad breakup. We started a few weeks after everything went down. It was a turbulent time in her life (still is, really). The lovin' was fantastic, and I fell into my old familiar patterns of moving too fast too soon. We're talking cooking meals, deep talks about what we want; there was even a rose!

Eventually she had another longtime guy friend confess her undying love for her, and add that to my overly boyfriend-ish (or AFC, whatever fucking buzzword you want to use) behavior, and she kinda freaked out. Gave me a long talk about how she needs to figure things out, and we're moving too fast. Said she liked spending time with me, and that I'm a good lover. Etc.

Annnyway, I haven't seen her since that conversation. I'd like to see her again, of course, but I'm not banking on it.

The whole point is this - outcome independence and abundance should get you through it. To me, it would be super if I could spend one more night with my lady...however, I recognize and remember that its just as possible that the relationship ended with that conversation. Doesn't matter.

smokintreesinatree · 2012-07-29T08:00:47+00:00

damn i'm not even sure this is possible. i went through the same thing, it was an exciting, yet bumpy ride. it taught me a lot, though. now i find myself doing/saying to girls the same things she did/said to me. and it's gold.

floofloofloo · 2012-07-29T11:15:58+00:00

try to hang out with the girl less, maybe if shes getting less attention from you, she will realize she wants you. Don't expect, or wait for this to happen. try to connect with other women, theres bound to be a few more compatible women for you in the three billion on the planet.

kamatres · 2012-07-29T12:27:59+00:00

You need to get over your oneitis, i know it's hard but judging by your current state if you keep pursuing her you will just end up as needy in her eyes and that will be the end of it. Maybe focus more on yourself, find new hobby, spend more time with your friends or try to expand your social circle. Hooking up with girls right after they come out of LTR is always bad idea in my book, unless you are looking for one night stand, they usually just want to rebound from ex and are indeed not looking for anything serious. So you are pretty much setting yourself up to get hurt.

Sroek · 2012-07-29T13:55:48+00:00

Cure yourself of oneitis by seeing a multitude of other girls, and she will be yours. The fact that you aren't in demand is making her unwilling to be exclusive.

SeducesStrangers · 2012-07-30T08:24:06+00:00

Love and hate are very similar emotions... it like learning your favorite flower, the dandelion, is actually a weed.

Title	On letting go
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	6
Date	July 29, 2012 7:44 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xc2lh/on_letting_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/on-letting-go.1336428 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336428

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