Oneitis or something else?

sakemaki · 2013-09-01T10:28:46+00:00

Its time to move on man. Sorry to tell you but that ship left 2 years ago. The best thing you can do is to accept the fact and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea ;)

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-09-01T13:17:08+00:00

You should stay friends with her, but definitely move on and pursue other women

Kirillb85 · 2013-09-01T14:03:24+00:00

Oneitis means you're "in love" with one girl and there's no other woman you want to be with. It's seriously detrimental to progressing in the game.

You're clearly friends with this girl, why not use her to get other women? Talk to her about women you find attractive and sex. Ask her to hook you up with her friends. You'll notice her behavior will change.

DON'T. DO NOT. DO. NOT, tell her how you feel. Women do that, not men. Not only will you not get shit, but you'll lose a friend too.

Invalidity · 2013-09-01T15:14:48+00:00

Work on your game, tell her about other girls in your life, hit on other girls in front of her. If she ever tries to flirt with you, be unresponsive and nonreactive. Don't validate her attention. Date other girls and sleep with other girls. Constantly reaffirm that you and her are just friends.

With the situation you are in right now, she essentially does not view you as a sexually compatible person. She sees that you have great qualities and are worthy of being a very close friend, but that is about it. To even have a chance at changing her perspective on you, you have to change yourself.

There's no guarantee that any of the above will work successfully, but as it is right now, you're not going to be seen as boyfriend material until you've been available long enough and she has gone through heartbreak after heartbreak and she decides to settle for you.

psyocal · 2013-09-02T03:12:45+00:00

And I have tried many times but it doesn't go away no matter how I change my perspective.

What doesn't go away, the feeling? It happens to everyone. But the more women you "go through" the less and less each of them seems special. You'll look back and think, "this is the girl that made me nervous? this is the one who I couldn't stop thinking about?? What was I thinking???"

There is only one way out of this situation: get other women...get as many as you can. Don't just get numbers but date them, sleep with them, do with them the freakiest things you can possibly imagine. You'll have less time for her, and if you still like her, you'll be able to have her...2-3 years down the line (depending on how fast you learn). But by then you'll no longer think you're in love with her.

Also, never talk to women without flirting with them...ever. If they're your best friend, sisters friend, cousins best friend, it doesn't matter. Even if they're not attractive, just flirt. This will keep you sharp and this will put each woman you come across on her heels. They will no longer view you as 'safe'. You'll be the wolf they know they'll sleep with if they don't keep their guard up.

Skybomber · 2013-09-01T13:23:31+00:00

I'd like to hear more about this. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, if you like I'll let you know what I did and how that went for me.

Now, the traditional 'friend zone' usually consists of a guy that's very submissive and unconfined, who usually just enjoys the idea of being around women even though they know he has no chance to get with them. But that might not be the case with you, so what exactly is your relationship with her?

Title	Oneitis or something else?
Author	Syllver
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	September 1, 2013 9:05 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1licmi/oneitis_or_something_else/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/oneitis-or-something-else.1357754 https://theredarchive.com/post/1357754

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