Persistence -VS- Oneitis: Where do you draw the line?

unorthodoxintrovert · 2015-11-10T21:14:05+00:00

Are you continuing to pursue her out of scarcity? OR do you truly believe she is worth pursuing. That's typically how I date. I'll have a whole bunch of women in my phone. Some women I'll want to spend time with maybe once or twice a month. Other women I'll want to see when I want a lazy day or maybe I want to go on a spontaneous trip and I know she'll definitely be down. This might be detering from your original question. There are definitely women that I enjoy spending more time with than other, but don't get hung up out of blind scarcity.

kaminskies · 2015-11-10T21:15:16+00:00

I came to think that the difference is the emotional investment of the two. With persistence, you have a low-key but openly interested man and an interested woman. He does make a move and even if things evolve slowly, he still sticks with it. But first of all, he makes a move. With One-itis you have a man that's invested as if honeymoon's gonna start tomorrow and a woman that may not even know about all of this. First one is fine, second one is something you have to get over.

You can only be persistent, if there's something happening. If it's all (or mainly!) in your head, you got One-itis.

Mudpielol · 2015-11-11T15:21:00+00:00

no one is worth being persistent, imo. Not really. Playing hard to get does not entice me at all. I read it as disinterest, and if she's not interested in me, why are we together?
My 2c.

JewJutsu · 2015-11-11T17:00:34+00:00

I have this issue myself. I constantly struggle between what's persistence and what is annoying/clingy. The problem with my situation that I noticed is I'm always the initiator so I'm basically used to being persistent otherwise I don't see anyone. Not sure why it's like that, but it's been like that for a while and I'm used to it (not to mention annoyed so I'm trying to work on it a little bit).

Anyway, I view persistence as not really trying too hard but still trying. Like, persistence for me is texting a girl I'm interested in every so often and try to get her out. If she goes cold on me, as in stops responding or is not available after 3 times I ask her out, I stop.

Lichewitz · 2015-11-10T23:24:47+00:00

This is my dilemma too, I hope to see some interesting thoughts on this

Jacob_961 · 2015-11-11T12:04:29+00:00

Who are you talking to? The PUA community is about hard closes. The rule of thumb is to try 4 times. If you get rejected 4 times, you let it go. This applies on the micro level and the macro level.

Title	Persistence -VS- Oneitis: Where do you draw the line?
Author	corpnerd
Upvotes	9
Comments	6
Date	November 10, 2015 8:56 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3sbkzg/persistence_vs_oneitis_where_do_you_draw_the_line/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/persistence-vs-oneitis-where-do-you-draw-the-line.1397403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397403

Comments