[Problem] Can't be social at university and i hate myself because of this

lv_21 · 2018-02-19T13:36:27+00:00

You are on a space rock floating though space, 100 years from now nobody will give a fuck about you. You will die, everybody you know will die.

Man just stop thinking too much. The worst that's going to happen is she says go away. That's gonna hurt for maybe 2 hours and then you're not going to care.

Try to fail on purpose and see that nobody cares apart from you man. You're blowing up out of proportion some people in uni that will die with no purpose in life.

Do it because why not. You don't need motivation, you need to care less. Good luck my g

thesolutionyouneed · 2018-02-19T14:18:12+00:00

Man shit, I have got the same problem as well. I talked to some people here and there as if they are class mates which they are but there are no real friendships developing out of this. Now as far as chicks go: most guys in college don't even approach chicks. I have talked to some and they were cool but didn't get their number cause I don't really care. The thing I realised though is that most guys are pretty lame with girls. I feel like in a social environment like college you can't really run around number closing, but I think the better way to do it is to make them be friends first.

I looked into the social circle blueprint material by RSD Luke and the ideas seem pretty good, especially the one of friendzoning girls. Funny enough I have already done this stuff in school when I was a lot younger and I know that if you are a cool dude, you just chill and pretty much do nothing then threat them like a friend and just connecting by having some good conversations and getting to know them.

The thing is too though that it is about the results you want. I am at the point right now where I don't give a shit about anything anymore really. She wants to fuck? Fine. She wants to have a relationship? Fine. I have never really cared about pursuing anything at all.

It actually fucks with me a bit but then again I realise that a lot of this shit is actually a pretty good place to be in. So what I will do from here on out is to just make female friends, no matter if they are attracted or not. Most guys just don't realise that the best social circles to be in is the one where there are a lot females because they have a lot of hot female friends that are also hot.

Most girls are actually desperate for a guy that is just normal with them and can just have a good conversation with her and show interest in her. There is not really anything else to do. The thing is that once you know a few people they will introduce you to others as well.

DrBalance · 2018-02-19T14:30:22+00:00

When i go out for daygaming I warm up. Just act like you're new and ask a few people where the cafe is or the book store. Then ask the next person if the cafe is any good, what do they recommend? Or go to the cafe and sit near someone, ask if their food is good or what they study. Who cares if they aren't overly receptive, maybe they're having a bad day or maybe they're shy/hungover.

At the end of the day no one cares about you, so what does it matter if you talk to someone and it's a bit awkward? You're rejecting yourself.

Fuck, I wish I was your age rather than being 31 and only starting recently.

DominicanFury · 2018-02-19T15:06:54+00:00

do you watch porn and fap?

TruthSFree · 2018-02-19T13:52:49+00:00

Start small, you don't have to talk to everyone at once. Figure out what you like to do, a sport, an activity, find other people who like to do that thing and join them. They will be happy to see you, they will talk to you and a large amount of them hopefully are women, with the added bonus of, they like what you like. Game isn't magic, a surprising amount of it is actually common sense. JOIN A GROUP, CLUB OR ASSOCIATION THAT DOES THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO

singiro · 2018-02-19T13:30:45+00:00

Same problem. Waiting for advice.

satuza · 2018-02-19T15:02:56+00:00

My first semester I had the same issue. This semester I’m sitting more in the middle of the room instead of the front, it’s exhausting at first but force yourself to atleast speak and build off that. I even made a new friend! You can do it!

weouthereslaying · 2018-02-19T15:58:09+00:00

You dont even need to read the post to know your problem OP

You are using the word CANT instead of wont. The blame for not being spcial is 100% on you. You can and should change it. There is no impossibility you have to overcome to be social you just have to go out and actually do it

It might be scary at first but it is way scarier to die a loser who doesnt have great stories to take with them when they die so stop with the defeatist attitude

orgnohpxf · 2018-02-19T16:32:38+00:00

When I was in college, I'd always get straight up rejected, or looked on as a creep when starting random conversations. I'm somewhat socially awkward, and most cute young girls on campus have almost unlimited options that you're competing with. You're likely hitting on a girl with a steady boyfriend, or (at minimum) dozens of beta orbiters. Think about it from their perspective. You're literally competing not just with the guys you can see, but every viable cock in a 100 mile radius. When you talk to a girl, the chances of her being openly receptive are super low, so keep all those factors in mind. I always found that subtle was the best route in. They NEED to not feel like you are hitting on them, but actually have a hook in common. Once you get that hook, you can use it to escalate, but you definitely need to get a conversation going first. When I was in college, there was this girl in my dorm that I used to take swing dancing lessons with, because we were mutually interested in learning. That was great social proof. Spending a little money is also a great way. I used to take them to the candy store, out to an exotic restaurant, going on drives, nature walks, to bookstores, to check out coffee houses, that kind of thing worked really well for me, but it always had to be a casual mention, not a direct hit. It's almost too much work, which is why I prefer sugar dating as an introvert.

vitamann · 2018-02-19T19:39:06+00:00

You are going about it the wrong way, why not join a club and make some friends first? Women will see through anybody, videos won't help you if you don't have the mindset.

ltdemon · 2018-02-19T22:13:04+00:00

Honestly, just be yourself and dont think too mcuh. This is what helped me. I game a lot too and study CS.

I look at it this way:

Say you are at a party, drinking beer and whatnot. See an attractive girl? Go ahead and talk with her. If she rejects you, no problem, grab another drink and try the next one. Repeat until success or you are too drunk to do it. You wont die if you try it. Sure it can be hard, but thats just how it is. Just try to enjoy yourself. Dont aim to get in bed with every girl therw, start small, just talk, joke around and what not. Thats the best way to do it and who knows, you might appear fun and charming you might get lucky.

cringke42 · 2018-02-19T22:22:31+00:00

Im also studying computer science. The big problem i have is that i moved to a IT-studies only building. So the amount of woman is close to zero. Im trying to find ways to meet woman but havent gotten far sofar

lupodipy · 2018-02-20T03:36:21+00:00

I used to have the same problem, until I started to do something, I always say to myself “they are just people” and there’s when I remember that they are just like me! They are good people, they probably want a new friend or they won’t mind if a guy like me talk to he/her

bronzebeagle · 2018-02-20T04:26:12+00:00

How many strangers or acquaintances (people who wouldn't consider you to be one of their close friends) are you talking to each day? See if you can up that number significantly.

When I was in college there was a swing dancing group that threw a free swing dancing event every week. That was a lot of fun. And I got to talk to lots of people because of that. Definitely recommend that.

Title	[Problem] Can't be social at university and i hate myself because of this
Author	rexarmastere
Upvotes	29
Comments	36
Date	February 19, 2018 12:55 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7ymgjf/problem_cant_be_social_at_university_and_i_hate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/problem-cant-be-social-at-university-and-i-hate.1441924 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441924

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