It feels like most sites describe it was seeming uninterested, but I understood this (and subconsciously did it this way) as just being real, joking around, not being a constant yes-man,

I also understood push/pull as a way to get compliments across more naturally without an awkward pause after. Lighten the tension.

Am I wrong? Do you all really mean you retract your interest and make her wonder if you're actually down for her? That seems counterproductive.

My understanding:

  • did you just trip? You goof. (Push) I'll catch you next time (pull)
  • you're cute! (Pull) At least when you're not scarfing down those wings 😂 (push) ---this helps get the compliment across in a more fun way
  • I don't think we'll get much studying done together ;) (pull) then she replies like "oolala I wouldn't mind though" and you just throw out a "scandalous" which is kinda distant and makes her wanna put more effort in to reel you back

What I feel like sites say:

  • hey I saw you across the room and thought you were cute! Oh no you're Albanian, that's wack

  • you're cute but you look way too young for me

Making her crave the emotional highs and lows