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[–]puaCurveBall 29 points30 points31 points 14 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
if an attractive girl breaks eye contact with you, she's demonstrated higher value by rejecting you with body language.
This is wrong. If you guys make eye contact, she is going to be the one to break first. This is normal. However, if you both are holding eye contact, and you smile or gesture at her, then she breaks eye contact deliberately (not in shy, embarrassed, flattered way), then yes she rejected you with her body language. However you can't know that until you try. Also this is only true before you have opened - once in a conversation, her breaking eye contact is not rejecting you.
Generally speaking, she is always going to break eye contact first, and if she doesn't (and you don't) then it is ON, you can basically just walk up and start making out. (well maybe some calibration is needed if you are at the library)
When you are the one breaking eye contact, break to the side. Downwards indicates submissiveness, upwards can be dismissive or telegraph frustration.
[–]frogma 5 points6 points7 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In addition to this, once you're actually talking to the girl, eye contact becomes more "complex." Don't think about it too much- but what I usually do is give her more eye contact than the average guy. But I'm aloof with it- while I'm talking, I make tons of eye contact (I might never look away), but while she's talking, even if it's something important, I'll randomly look away because I'm paying more attention to the environment than I am to her specifically. Depends on the situation, but that's how I usually do it.
[–]07SS 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hmm interesting. I usually do it the other way around. I was always told it's rude to not look at someone who is talking to you. When I talk though, I often break eye contact to look at other things or in the distance, as if I'm thinking.
If they're not looking at me when they're talking, then I don't still look in their eyes, but I try to maintain eye contact when they talk just as common courtesy
[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Usually your eyes will meet naturally and you'll know when they're not looking so you can look away.
It is "rude" to not look at someone when they're talking- it's showing disinterest, which is why I do it.
If you're breaking eye contact when you're talking though, that's usually a sign of insecurity. We need to look away from a face in order to recall shit. If you can keep looking at a face while recalling shit, it just shows that you're comfortable with that.
[–]07SS 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmm i'll try to hold eye contact when speaking now... I usually break it just because it's natural after holding it for so long while they talk.
I've found that it usually doesn't matter when you break it or hold it, just that you are giving it more than normal and that you're not looking down.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Interesting. It's like Brad Pitt says on Ocean's Eleven: You look down, they know you're lying. You look up, they know you don't know the truth.
[–]sashimiplease 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bonus question. What do I do if we are both walking towards eachother on the street and she never breaks eye contact? Do I stop her before she passes, catch up to her from behind? What are some good openers for this situation?
[–]puaCurveBall 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, that depends. If I smiled at her and she returned the smile while holding eye contact, I'd probably hip bump her to stop her.
If it was just strong eyecontact, then I'd wait until we passed and then turn around and say (loudly) "Hey! Weren't you even going to stop me?" like I was giving her shit for it, then start a conversation.
Note, this is not really field tested, I might have done something similar in the past, but this is just the first thing to pop into my head, which in the field would mean it's what I actually would do.
[–]koshercowboy 8 points9 points10 points 14 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You are essentially calling her bluff by keeping eye contact. Never break eye-contact first, and you wont if you're coming from a place of confidence. Make it, smile, and don't break it so much as continue on with whatever you were doing. Gently end it if she keeps staring and continue with your business. You're not there to enter a staring competition; you're there to be suave. Confident and suave men make eye contact and end it when THEY feel comfortable with ending it, not depending on how attractive or not a girl is. Just when THEY want.
Look at her, smack on a perfect smile whilst keeping eye contact, and move on. All you're really looking for is a smile back, that's all.
The chick isn't rejecting you by breaking it, but instead her bluff is called, and she folds her hand, essentially. If you follow my poker analogy. She's saying, "Okay, you win." In a way. You always want her eye-contact to be broken just after she smiles---that's your cue to stop being afraid and go move in.
Additional Fun: Never look down or break eye contact whilst engaged in conversation upon meeting someone. First impressions are everything, and if yours comes off as a guy confident enough to talk to a stranger but strange enough to look downward or continue breaking eye-contact---your natural body movement will immediately come off as self-conscious and/or preoccupied. Unbecoming of a gentleman.
The unfortunate catch-22 is that when told to be conscious of our body movement, we are often too overtly conscious of it in social situations, thus fucking up the whole purpose. Practice in the mirror and when out in social situations, don't think about it; shut it off.. Practice to the point where it becomes muscle memory.
Stay confident.
[–]WolfInTheField 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is all HUGE. I'm gonna reread this tomorrow.
[–]revente 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I usually break it when during the talk something else is happening nearby, so that way she has to fight for my attention.
[–]ngroot 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you want to practice your non-verbal negotiation skills (eye contact, body language, indications of acceptance or rejection, etc.), do a little bit of tango.
Not kidding. Read about cabeceo.
[–]Blargblarg123 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Won't maintaining eye contact signal to them that you're a creep or some kind of perve or rude?, and just piss them off or make them feel vulnerable/uncomfortable?
[–]bet1598 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
no way, eye fuck the shit out of girls. they're going to notice, and when they do, you need to act on it. if you make eye contact and stand there awkwardly its not gonna help you out, but you can use it as a tool to make moves.
[–]SappH -2 points-1 points0 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is this shit for real? Reading all these comments, I can't tell whether this entire subreddit is satirical or just a bunch of super inexperienced guys who get their dating advice from their crazy old grandpas and outdated pop culture references? This is an honest question.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep, it's real, problem?
[–]SappH -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, I'm pretty sure the problem belongs to anyone who takes this seriously. I was sure you all were caricatures of how the media portrayed men in the past. But, now that I know you're not, I can continue laughing at this immaturity. Carry on; I will simply lurk when I need a laugh.
[–]Yauza -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
if you're going to break eye contact, just look at her boobs.
She'll feel like she's being judged and you're keeping your gaze in the triangle of intimacy.
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[–]puaCurveBall 29 points30 points31 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]frogma 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]07SS 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]07SS 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sashimiplease 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]puaCurveBall 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]koshercowboy 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WolfInTheField 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]revente 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ngroot 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blargblarg123 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bet1598 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SappH -2 points-1 points0 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SappH -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Yauza -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link