Question on body language

ButtonKing · 2010-08-20T04:26:25+00:00

Check this book out. It's got a TON of useful info. http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/toc.html

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-08-19T21:58:31+00:00

I saw a video that talked about "pecking," that annoying habit of leaning in to hear the other person and then straightening back up. He said that it makes a terrible impression, and the extra few inches is hardly going to help you hear at all, so just get out of the habit. Easier said than done. I am terribly deaf in my left ear, and somehow I always seem to approach so people are on my left. It's hard to avoid leaning in. They suggest actually making a serious effort to lean OUT, to avoid this problem.

I've had terrible trouble approaching sitting sets. They say that bending over to talk to a seated set makes you look tryhard, it gives the frame to the seated person. I agree. I accidentally discovered a solution at my favorite club, all the chairs and tables are barstool height, so if you approach a seated set, they're already at eye level. Find a club like this.

ArMcK · 2010-08-20T01:52:23+00:00

My waiter last night was pretty alpha, and also tall (I'm only 5'9"). He squatted down even with us to take our orders. Once you hook go on and squat if you're talking about something for just a moment. If it's going to be longer, grab a chair. No chairs--get her out of hers.

Also, get her on the move to somewhere quieter.

scottsutherland · 2010-08-20T02:31:20+00:00

Don't lean in, just maintain your dominant frame, and in a loud voice say "Sorry it's loud in here, you need to speak up."

sockthepuppetry · 2010-08-19T20:42:27+00:00

I've encountered two solutions in my reading:

You don't need to hear her at the beginning anyway since you're doing 90% of the talking. Most "don't lean in" rules specifically are applicable at the beginning.
Tell her to speak up. E.g. There was one guy posting here that said he'd sustained some hearing damage in the army. He'd mention it and no one would have any problem speaking to it. So either make some reason you're bad at hearing/understanding in a loud club or maybe tease her, "Speak up, don't be shy!"

EDIT: This all armchair advice, so field experience would be more valuable.

m4gnificent_b4st4rd · 2010-08-19T21:24:26+00:00

I'm tall (6'4"/1.93m) and most women are way shorter than me. I tend to keep myself in a comfortable upright position as much as possible. If the woman wants to talk to me she can raise her voice, I'm not going to spend the night hunched over for her convenience. Occasionally I will lean in, but only temporarily. Standing bent over basically looks uncool unless you are leaning on something so what I normally do is this. I gently place my right hand on her left shoulder and then lean in towards her neck so that my right ear is near her mouth. Then she can talk into my ear.

I often find that women will let their cheek gently rest against mine while they are talking to me, which is an encouraging sign. I'll normally pull back, but I often find that once I've moved in like that a woman will attempt to reproduce that situation by putting her hand on my shoulder and giving my a slight pull downwards to indicate she wants me to move in close again. Since her arm is already on my shoulder it would be awkward to put mine on hers, so I rest it against the side of her body instead.

There's a lot of body language and kino stuff going on in situations like this and it's actually a pretty useful tool.

Title	Question on body language
Author	punkerdante182
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	August 19, 2010 8:28 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d35zq/question_on_body_language/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-on-body-language.1311406 https://theredarchive.com/post/1311406

Comments