Simple question, why do you continue to do game/pickup/self improvment? List the obvious reasons but try to chuck in your own personal reasons, showed some issues up for me and may do the same for you.

For me its that I enjoy improving myself plus seeing the results of it not just in seduction but also in general social situations, especially in comparison to how I used to be. Im obviously in it for a large part due to wanting to be better with girls and be with more/get into better relationships with abit of fun along the way.

Now onto my MAIN issue. After another semi lecture from my dad about "why i should do an apprentiship instead of uni due to me struggling greatly" (Carpenter, electrician, mechanic ect and in Aus you get paid damn well +100k easy in some of them within a year or two of completion of the 3-4 years) and after me trying to give reasons as to why I should stay in uni and just push through it till I get there (obviously havent really told him what I do in regards to game), I realised that the only reason im at uni, failing a tonne of units due to not being mentally capable nor having the time required to study enough to make up for my short fallings, is so I can have time and a place to do game all which is because im absolutely terrified of not doing game.

Yes you read that right, im SCARED of not doing game + self improvement, well more precisely im scared/petrified of reverting back to what I used to be, just thinking about what it used to be like before game actually scares me so much, I make decisions that take toles on my life, wallet, time, those around me so that I can do game + self improvement just to make sure I dont revert into that hole.

So now im sitting here thinking do I give up on uni, do what I should, not be able to do game so I can have a good job + pay but no time to do game other than a very limited amount on weekends? How can I stay "alpha" or in this state while not doing game, not trying new things, and how could I even find time to talk to girls or when would I even see a girl my age doing this?

Maybe im just over reacting and missing something (and really hope I am) but I just cant see myself being able to do game and hence stay the way I am doing a 9-5 job at my age, thus reverting to what I used to be. Any feedback is welcome.

TLDR: Afraid of not doing game hence becoming what I used to be (beta, depressed, no social life, always pissed off) to the point I make very bad life choices to protect my "game" + self improvement".