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Reminder: Make sure you pass every phase of seduction.

Terrible_Assist_1345 · 2026-03-06T13:06:00+00:00

I'm shure most of you heard of the mystery model M3. Mystery came up with the phases of seduction. One thing i see happening a lot is: Guys forgetting...

Terrible_Assist_1345

March 6, 2026

39 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Reminder: Make sure you pass every phase of seduction.
Author	Terrible_Assist_1345
Upvotes	39
Comments	25
Date	March 6, 2026 1:06 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rmdh7j/reminder_make_sure_you_pass_every_phase_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/reminder-make-sure-you-pass-every-phase-of.1574835 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574835

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From a thread here from 14 years ago (Reddit is awesome)

Q: I'm a big proponent of the M3 Model, I consider it the fundamental model, no matter whether you use "canned" game or natural. Of course things have evolved since it was created. What's your take on the application of the old M3 phases? I have heard the LS interviews that discuss the phases, how they're somewhat flexible and overlapping, but perhaps you have a different take.

Background for newbies:

The traditional M3 model is: Attraction-> Qualification -> Comfort. Savoy latter got more technical with the Emotional Progression Model which goes: Open-> Transition -> Attraction -> Qualification -> Comfort -> Seduction. He also came up with the Triad model, which brings logistics and kino (or physical escalations) into the picture. But in Savoy’s model, the core of the emotional progression model is still Attraction -> Qualification -> Comfort, and that’s what we’ll be discussing here.

A: To say that they overlap is an understatement, the reality is that in solid game, they are all always happening. I want to make this very clear: there is always attraction, qualification, and comfort happening.

ATTRACTION

Attraction is first, and it’s generally taught that you go into attraction straight off the opener. Here I’ll examine the opening phase as it relates the M3 (or EPM) model. I’ll discuss opinion openers and direct, and won’t bother with situational for now.

OPINION OPENERS

When opening it’s generally taught that one focus on attraction, but if you look at Mystery’s preferred openers, opinion openers, you’ll notice that they also build a lot of comfort. Opinion openers are engaging and build a connection (when done properly). You’re basically politely inviting her into your conversation. The reason they hook so well is precisely because of the quick comfort that is built. You instantly find yourself in a conversation with someone as if you’ve known them for a while. Body language is also targeted at building comfort, hence the over the shoulder opener. It’s less invasive and makes her feel like you aren’t trying to intrude on her personal space. A bit of rapport and comfort is built before you turn your body to face her.

Opinion openers also have an element of qualification. You are essentially asking her a qualifying question by asking for her opinion on something. Why else would you be asking her something? Also the guys who are good have qualifying body language. They have an “I’m not so sure about you” look on their face for most of the start of the interaction (and often later too). This is qualification in a look, and it’s extremely effective. Leaning back or locking in are also subtle expressions of a qualifying attitude, and can be quite powerful in changing the dynamic.

(Also a quick note that AFC Adam discusses building comfort first, then breaking rapport to build attraction. This is one very effective way of building attraction, though there are many other ways to build attraction. Hopefully it’s clear in this article that his technique isn’t so different that a lot of what is taught in the M3 model, it’s mostly the explanations that differ. A neg or tease is definitely a form of breaking rapport.)

DIRECT OPENERS

Direct openers also have elements of qualification an comfort. In fact when guys can’t get a direct opener to work for them, it’s usually because there is a lack of qualifying body language (and voice tone). It could also be insecure body language, or lack of comfort (being too direct, coming off as harsh).

Direct opening with confident body language instantly builds attraction. If you’re not terrible looking and decently dressed, it will often build enough attraction to move straight into qualification/comfort (there’s a reason I put “qualification/comfort” instead of just qualification, which will be explained in the qualification section).

Direct opening can also trigger shit tests, which just give you a chance to build even more attraction if you know how to handle them properly.

From coaching in bars, I’ve seen relatively attractive guys (decent looking and decently dressed) go in direct, get attraction, then mess things up by trying to build more attraction. The girl will lose interest because of a lack of comfort, or as non community guys would say, regular conversation. Regular conversation builds comfort, and is essential for building rapport and building a connection that she won’t want to lose. If you’re losing interest in the attraction phase, it’s usually because you either suck at attraction, or you need less than you think. Try going into qualification and comfort earlier, like right after the opener. We sometimes think women are like us, and that the more attraction we build the more they will want to sleep with us. That’s how we are, but that’s generally not how women are. They usually need more than just attraction to sleep with a guy (but not always).

QUALIFICATION

This is a massive topic, and I won’t go too much into it now. I’ll assume people already understand the fundamentals of qualification, and I’ll just say a bit about why it is important and so effective, and why it is more or less the crux of the M3 model.

First, qualification is a combination of attraction and comfort. It does both extremely effectively. In the simplest terms, you’re qualifying her to see if she’s up to your standards. You’re demonstrating high standards, which is very attractive. You’re also finding out more about her, which builds a lot of comfort. In qualification you can play around with SOI’s and disqualifiers to build a ton of attraction. You can relate your values to those you find out about her, which builds a ton of comfort. Qualification if a fantastic way to build attraction and comfort in a complimentary and synergistic way. It’s not different or separate from attraction and comfort, it’s a combination of the two.

[–]Fellini_Linguini 6 points7 points8 points 5 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

(continued)

COMFORT

One of the most advanced guys I know once said “the game is played in comfort”. I felt there was a truth to it at the time, but it still didn’t sound right. As I got more advanced, I realized that once you get attraction and qualification down, comfort becomes the most complex stage. There is a lot going on here, and it’s so different for different women. This is why it takes some time and experience to develop a good sense of building comfort. It’s really dynamic and completely different with different women.

One thing I mentioned earlier is that comfort is “normal conversation”. Everything from small talk, to talking about values, experiences, and relating to each other. In comfort though, you still want to be building occasional attraction by being confident (and having confident body language) and by occasionally teasing. Qualification is an attitude that you never loose. She never quite feels like she’s won you over 100%. Maybe at some point she feels like she’s won you over 95%, but there’s always a hint of uncertainty, and she always feels like you might just leave her if she makes the wrong move. This is the essence of qualification, that you are constantly screening her to see if she’s up to your standards, and she feels that if she does something to convey that she’s not up to those standards, then you wouldn’t hesitate to leave her. Keeping this attitude throughout comfort will keep attraction alive, and actually help to solidify a connection and a feeling of mutual respect (more comfort).

Q2: There is extensive discussion in Mystery's old Venusian Arts book about doing the M3 phases out of sequence. I particularly emphasize one of his points, that comfort before attraction means Friend Zone, it's hard to establish attraction if she's already comfortable with you as a friend. Your take on this?

A: The risk of ending up in the friend zone usually happens from a lack of attraction, and not from too much comfort. You can open with comfort, build a lot of comfort, and not have to worry about the friend zone as long as you maintain a certain level of attractiveness. This can be either physical (your looks and body language, special shout out to Cajun for writing the best articles on body language), observed (social status or preselection), or can be done though breaking rapport (as AFC Adam talks aobut) or Negging (as Mystery talks about) or Teasing (as is generally talked about in LS now, with a special shout out to Braddock for writing the best articles and being amazing at teasing).

Sometimes it’s just as simple as your body language. I remembered being on a date and leaning back and things were going very well. We had a lot in common and a lot of comfort was being built. At one point I was so involved in the conversation I got a bit excited and leaned in while talking. I literally felt myself get friend zoned in that very instant.

Another reason for getting friend zoned is if the woman is looking for something casual and not too serious, and she picks up from you that you are more serious about things than her. In this case, building too much comfort can hurt you, unless you convey enough attraction and preselction along with the comfort. I’ll explain: Women have often had the experience of liking a guy enough to sleep with him a few times, but not wanting anything serious. They’ve often had these guys get heartbroken and go crazy calling them all the time, trying to confess their feelings and have the woman reciprocate.

Women typically want to avoid this. Attractive women have enough options that they screen for this to avoid all the headache of having to deal with needy guys. By building too much comfort, she may get the idea that you are falling for her and she can picture you becoming her next stalker. This is why you need to convey preselction, so she’ll realize you have lots of options and that you’re not going to get obsessed with her if she never returns your calls. So basically it depends on a lot more than just the order of the phases. It has a lot more to do with what she’s looking for and how she’s reading you. Also guys that are physically attractive and have attractive body language often do great by only building comfort. They get enough attraction just from looking the way they do. Same goes for really confident guys.

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It’s “timeless” only if you’re a true believer.

There are 200,000 Christian Scientists who believe matter is not real and if someone is cured of asthma, it’s proof they are right, which, of course, they aren’t.

There are probably that many guys who read “The Game” and who lost their virginity. That no more means the algorithm is valid than the deaf man at a tent revival is right who claims his hearing was restored by Jesus after his mailman laid hands on him.

Derren Brown in his documentary on luck shows how powerful suggestion can be. People claimed patting the statue of s dog in the park got them a job or a certain sum of money.

“The Game” is a compelling story and clearly has become like “Dumbo’s feather” for many. If cultivates belief and that’s what flips the switch.

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