Same problem every time I go out alone

ookki · 2016-04-30T23:53:32+00:00

Get around? I will usually leave big groups alone unless I've been talking to someone in the group before.

What kind of place are you going to?

Try to make friends with the bartender and staff. They will introduce you to people. Sit at the bar and be open. Sometimes chatting to the people who are buying drinks. Keep it light and fun.

My common opener is "cheers" and a smile. From there it can turn into a conversation or die. Either way I don't care, I just want people to be relaxed around me.

That said, I'm in a situation different to you. I'm a gaijin living in Japan so a lot of people like to talk to me. Most of my Japanese was learnt at the bar. Still, the same rules apply.

This is my second city in Japan so I've had to build friendships from scratch again.

IFlyAircrafts · 2016-05-01T00:52:55+00:00

Some bars are better than others! Sure you're not gonna have much luck going to a bar where everyone is seated at tables and sticking to their own groups. Find bars where people are mingling around, throwing darts, standing and talking, or dancing.

PaulRocker · 2016-05-01T05:57:37+00:00

Dude. Fuck them, make your own group or go in alone. You kidding me?

chriscalo123 · 2016-05-01T15:40:53+00:00

Hey man, there are going to be bars/clubs/places that are more suited to meeting people and other places that are not.

It's normal that people at bars know each other... however that doesn't mean they don't want to meet you.

The point of going out is usually to be part of a larger interaction (otherwise, staying inside with someone you know is cheaper/more convenient).

People are BORED! They want excitement, they want someone fun to come in and be interesting. That's your job, no matter where you are.

Drifts · 2016-05-02T01:50:56+00:00

i've been planning on doing this in May.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-05-01T07:15:16+00:00

It's hard to talk and join in on the conversation because they just want to talk to the people they know.

Well, yeah. You can't force it.

But what's your way of opening? Do you have a typical opener?

..... other nights damn near impossible because they don't want anything to do with strangers. What is a way I could get around this problem?

Don't force it. All interactions have a natural conclusion. Sometimes you might make some opening and the conversation will die right there after one sentence of exchange. Sometimes 5 minutes. Or hours. Or longer. Just gotta go with it.

The point is to go alone and hit on girls alone just kind of hard when they're all in groups

If I'm reading this right, the mistake here is that "game" is being social. You ought to be talking to EVERYONE. Guys and girls.

It shouldn't be you, just going from one group of girls to another group of girls. Talk to anyone. Singular girls. Girls in pairs, larger groups of girls, mixed groups, singular dudes, whatever it is.

hombrecito89 · 2016-05-01T12:49:06+00:00

The best groups to go for are 2/3 girls and share attention between them. They will end up competing for your attention if one of them is attracted to you.

Title	Same problem every time I go out alone
Author	triplea3xa
Upvotes	8
Comments	12
Date	April 30, 2016 5:45 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4h5eee/same_problem_every_time_i_go_out_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/same-problem-every-time-i-go-out-alone.1406126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1406126

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