So I’ve been talking to this girl for a long time who goes to college in another state, so we’ve got a long distance thing going which means we are not exclusive and it’s just kind of understood that we both see other people on the side (I’m totally cool with this).

However, she likes to tell me about her other current hookups.

-“ I kissed this guy last night” -“ I just got a text from this guy I fucked last semester”. -“ Oh I just made small talk with this guy in the gym yesterday who I fucked last year, and as I’m talking to him all I can think about was flashes of him fucking me”

My response to these SPECIFIC shit tests has been to just shut them down. Totally defuse them/ignore the subject. I have said:

  • “That’s your business, not mine”
  • “It’s not nice to kiss and tell” (I’ve used this to elude to the fact that I don’t tell her about any of my current hookups)
  • “I’m not your therapist or your gay male GF”
  • “Those guys can keep you busy until you come home and see me”

All in all, I think these have worked well, but I feel like I can do better because she keeps doing it. I’m concerned that these responses, and me making it clear that I don’t want to discuss any current hookups, will come off as me being jealous. I’m a very humorous guy so everything I respond with is used in a funny way to maintain a lighthearted and fun tone.

But there has to be a reason she’s continuing to test with this stuff even after I’ve made my point clear. Any advice or suggestions?