Should I let my intentions known?

recyclablebanthas · 2017-10-02T07:42:43+00:00

TL;DR: Skip to #5, or just read the whole thing.

__1__

Should I let my intentions known?

Yes. Otherwise, you'll usually lose your chance.

But this isn't really the question, is it? Isn't the question more about HOW to make your intentions known?

__2__

When you meet a girl, do you make your intentions known early?

YES. I do.

__3__

What do you say?

Wrong question. I don't SAY a fucking thing. Actions speak louder than words. Do you have to ask what my intentions are if I walk into a room, buy a sandwich, and wolf it down? It would be clear that my intentions were to eat.

In my last relationship, for example, I made it quite clear through actions; physical escalation.

Ah, but here lies the problem. A lot of people assume that this means doing boldly invading a woman's space. So not true. It can be clear, and yet start off slowly.

Testing her space bubble. No touch required, but you're seeing if you're welcome in her space. She'll adjust to maintain the space if she doesn't want you there.
Safe, non-sexual touches, like you would do with guys. Arm jabs, high fives, etc. And then you're testing how she feels about contact with you. If she's feeling it or not feeling it, that will be increasingly apparent even at this point, usually.
What's her reaction to accidental or incidental contact. It happens. You're sitting next to her and legs or feet accidentally touch. Does she quickly flinch away? Nothing? Or lean into it?

Confidently performing the first two and paying attention for all three of these, is a great start to escalating.

__3__

I've been on plenty of dates, but often I end it early (even before sex) because I don't see it becoming anything serious. I always feel guilty about breaking it off.

Well, this is just preference. If you're not into it, what requires you to continue? Nothing. Why feel guilty about breaking it off? Did you think that you're taking something away from them? If so, what would that be? A relationship with a dude who's unhappy to be with her? Think it through, man. You're doing both of you a favor by cutting it off if you're not happy.

__4__

How can I know what they want? Maybe they don't want anything serious either and just wanna hang out/hook up? There are a lot of tells for this. I could tell you some of them but honestly you have to get the information from trial and error like the rest of us. But girls are going to do things that show what they want.

One indication that she's looking for a hook-up though, is that she'll go along with a quick escalation to sex within the first or second date.

__5__

Honestly, there are girls I wanna sleep with but not be in a relationship with. Should I say that somehow? That i don't want anything serious? I hate leading people on.

I look at every date as a potential gf, is it the wrong attitude? Too much of a gentleman?

You're all over the place. For a second, let's put aside what they want. What do YOU want? If you just want something casual, that's easy. Go for quicker escalation to sex.

If you want something more serious, draw it out and take your time before getting to sex. Casually minded girls will peace out.

And if you only want casual, then you should have The Talk with them after things get to sex, or sometimes beforehand if she seems to be heavily investing emotionally. James Marshall gives a great talk on this.

VDKay · 2017-10-02T07:29:09+00:00

Why not Ask them about their intentions? Ask them what phase they are in. Having fun or settling down? If you feel the same way, tell them. But if not, tell them again. You are a confident and assertive man who knows what he wants and doesn't have a problem expressing it

DavidGolani11 · 2017-10-02T19:26:46+00:00

Always let your intentions be known, always. "Nice" guys are hated by girls because they are sneaky and pretend to be friends with the express purpose of weaseling their way into dating her.

letsgetrandy · 2017-10-02T21:29:54+00:00

When you meet a girl, do you make your intentions known early?

Fuck that. I just met her... how do I know what my intentions are yet?

What do you say?

The best thing is to say nothing. You don't have to define anything until such a time as she brings it up or asks you.

How can I know what they want?

If someone wants something, it's their job to ask for it. That's how you can know. She'll ask.

Maybe they don't want anything serious either and just wanna hang out/hook up?

If you just met someone, the only thing you should want to do is hang out and hook up. It's too fucking early to be looking for anything more.

Honestly, there are girls I wanna sleep with but not be in a relationship with. Should I say that somehow?

To complete the theme. Just don't say anything.

IncompleteGuyy · 2017-10-02T06:44:37+00:00

well, i would like to say that i don't know.

Title	Should I let my intentions known?
Author	kirby42
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	October 2, 2017 6:24 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/73r5dr/should_i_let_my_intentions_known/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-let-my-intentions-known.1434639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434639

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