So. How DO you get confidence?

sleep_of_no_dreaming · 2013-05-28T08:06:03+00:00

MDMA and cocaine

2013-05-28T04:02:59+00:00

I've learned that simply faking confidence will lead to real confidence. The first few weeks, you have to consciously hold your shoulders high, sound resolute when talking to people, and keep eye contact. But then you get used to it and you start to feel like you have a presence wherever you go.

ronin120 · 2013-05-28T03:34:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

unruly_teapot · 2013-05-28T10:56:21+00:00

Focus on the positives, that way I remember that I am better than everyone else. Easy. (I will concede that there might be someone out there who is better than me at everything but they probably already have a girl they are happy with so STFU ladies and take a number). If you don't have this attitude you're not doing it right.

mileshigh_23 · 2013-05-29T04:04:01+00:00

I spent the last 5 years getting over and ultimately mastering what were once panic-attack inducing phobias: public speaking and girls. What I found is you must do the thing you fear most over and over and over again. I spent the last five years in Toastmasters, and today I'm one hell of a public speaker. I was the MC at a wedding a few weeks and and it went truly stunning. That's because I've continually pushed myself to speak in public over these last five years. I'm no longer afraid of it. I have confidence that I can do it, and I've seen that messing up isn't a big deal.

I gained confidence with women in the same way: I literally started running after girls one day to introduce myself to them (direct openers ftw). Hundreds upon hundreds of girls. I'd stop them on a sidewalk, pay them an honest compliment, introduce myself, and then have a brief conversation. I've been rejected hundreds of times, and likewise have dated more girls than I'd ever imagined. I've been rejected so many times, it no longer hurts. The fear of being rejected is gone.

That's how I gained confidence. What do you fear, and how can you exercise that fear where it no longer affects you?

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-05-29T06:17:49+00:00

When you speak, you probably speak with a head voice. It's quiet. Speak with air from your lungs, a chest voice. You will be and sound much more confident.

Don't use weak words. Avoid "maybe," "probably," asking for permission, etc.

I got confident by going out and walking up to random girls. Even by just talking to guys, just to get comfortable with cold approaches to people in general.

When you walk up to a girl and smile and look her in the eye (do not break eye contact, she'll hold on as long as she wants to), it feels awesome. You feel like a badass, because you are. Even if you get rejected, it feels great because you went for it. I've never regretted being rejected, only that I haven't approached a girl I was attracted to.

Title	So. How DO you get confidence?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	May 28, 2013 3:19 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1f6f1w/so_how_do_you_get_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-how-do-you-get-confidence.1353033 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353033

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