So... I failed (?)

igacek · 2013-12-12T14:36:24+00:00

So... I failed (?)

Approximately one month ago ... decided to finally do something about it

I have met tons of interesting people, got rejected a lot, learned something about teasing and playfulness, and touched a lot more than my old self would have felt appropriate.

So, how exactly did you fail? It sounds like you succeeded. You changed a lot from your old ways. Rome wasn't built in a month.

Peacer13 · 2013-12-12T14:19:38+00:00

So... what you're trying to say is you'll have a great time tonight and if someone catches your eye, you'll approach and be awesome?

Romanticide · 2013-12-12T16:00:07+00:00

It is an ongoing process my friend. If you're out there getting rejected, then you are still learning and getting experience. As long as you're doing something, anything at all, you're not failing. Don't give yourself goals like "I need to find a date for this night" because that adds pressure and can make you come off needy. Your only goal should be to go out, have fun and meet people. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Flodgy · 2013-12-12T11:24:28+00:00

Hey man, it's all good to feel down. But like you said, you've had a good experience from this. You've met new people, undoubtedly learned plenty of things about yourself, and it definitely sounds like you grew as a person.

Who says that has to stop tonight? So what you don't have a date. Chances are some lovely lady might not either. Give it your best and keep on rocking it, before you know it you'll notice that change, you'll keep on applying what you learn and bam, things will work out the way you want. Don't give up bro, haven't crossed the finish line yet!

HappyJerk · 2013-12-12T14:09:49+00:00

I wrote a blog post about self improvement that I think will be relevant to you. One point I would make is that you can't be a hostage to your own goals. It's nice to have goals, but if you can't achieve them right away, it's not a big deal.

http://playersjourney.net/some-self-improvement-tips/

RRjr · 2013-12-12T12:09:40+00:00

Outcome independence, man.

The fact you're going alone means everything you meet there is fair game. Seize the opportunity.

but since I am one of the organizers, I have to be there an make sure everyone is having a great time.

There's you social proof and value. If that's not good grounds for game, I don't know what is.

Edit: Oh and let's not glance over the fact that you being the organizer and all is pretty much the perfect opener.

Daboogadooga · 2013-12-12T11:28:17+00:00

You may not have a date for tonight, but you have made great strides and improvements on a personal level. Have fun at the ball! It's your event, you run the party, if anyone needs anything, you're their guy. Super easy opener, ask how they are enjoying the ball, say if there's anything they need, come straight to you, then ask them some question about something relevant, compliment how good everyone looks. I'm sure there will be single girls there or girls that have dates that don't like their dates and you could potentially steal them away.

Don't give up, you've made progress but you haven't reached your end goal, keep up the hard work and keep getting out there. Staying home on the computer browsing reddit never got anyone laid, going out talking to girls does. You got this brotha!

YouthlnAsia · 2013-12-12T16:31:12+00:00

Something I learned from poker that applies well to seduction: Be process oriented not results oriented. It sounds like you're putting in work and going after what you want. You should be WAY more proud of that than if you had met some arbitrary results oriented goal that you set for yourself.

centurijon · 2013-12-12T16:35:03+00:00

Depending on where you were when you started, one month (think, 4 weekends) is probably not long enough to effect the right change in your mindset, or inner frame.

You may have failed to hit the goal that you set for yourself, but that goal was also unrealistic.

Side-note on that: Setting that goal also made yourself very outcome dependent, not independent. Meet people and have fun first, dates (and more) will fall into place after that. If you go with the goal of "must date at least one of {these people} by <day>" then you're sabotaging yourself.

IPlayUkulele · 2013-12-13T01:47:17+00:00

Keep fighting the good fight, my friend. You're getting closer.

Title	So... I failed (?)
Author	S_education
Upvotes	37
Comments	13
Date	December 12, 2013 10:38 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1spjam/so_i_failed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-i-failed.1299516 https://theredarchive.com/post/1299516

Comments