Potentially controversial, but my two-cents on how to use this forum as a nice guy: don’t fear the friendzone.

If you are ACTUALLY a nice guy, don’t try to improve your game by learning to dehumanize your partner. Assholes don’t get more girls because they’re assholes, they get them because they build and keep their social momentum. As a nice guy, you can keep your social momentum by practicing your polite social game with friendzoned relationships.

Few friendzoned relationships escape the friendzone. So until you meet someone who vibes with you, don’t stop flirting politely with the girls who friendzone you. Practice your compliments, focus on their style and personality instead of their body, act like it’s something you just happened to notice and then change the subject immediately. Practice respectful contact by knowing when/how to touch them (shoulder, back, hugs only). Ask them benign questions about the guys they like/are dating. If the friendzoner has an issue with what you’re doing, they’ll be trying to tell you. Pay attention. Key into it. They are your best source of wisdom. And the best part is, they already friendzoned you, so the pressure’s off.

Quick anecdote: in high school, I was immensely frustrated by my sex life. I was friendzoned several times because I was a little desperate, a little anxious, and didn’t have the confidence to straight up ask a stranger to spend more time with me. But those relationships helped me develop a substantial toolkit to connect with women. I was the patient earpiece for cute girls who couldn’t reciprocate his feelings. And that hurt, but we all have to be okay with rejection. Now, as a direct result, I’m great at connecting with women and making them feel special.

I still go a few months without a partner on occasion, I’m not everybody’s cup of tea. But what I’ve settled for is being some people’s drug.