The Simple Guide to TEXTING People on Tinder and Getting The Date

I am writing you this because I was hoping you could find someone you genuinely get along with and connect with people. I tend not to make these kinds of posts because of all the haters, and it seems like it's impossible to be understood. But I will hopefully help some people out who are frustrated and lonely and need a little clarification.

Also, I will tell you word-for-word what to say at specific parts of the interaction. My suggestion is to edit what I say to make the language congruent for your life. Also, use a grammar editor to make sure all the words you say are in a line; sometimes, I wonder how many girls have stopped talking to me because I said "your" instead of "you're". Finally, I suggest using your notepad on your phone and copying/pasting all of your lines into the text because there's no reason to gamble on a grammatical error.

Briefly, I want to explain psychology. We are creating the shortest amount of texts that will take someone from a dating app and take them to the phone call where you will schedule the date if you guys get along (because you may not, it would be manipulative if you planned a date knowing you to don't get along). In the second language pattern, you will see (...) this is a spot for you to fill in the blank by mirroring her response.

First, I want to tell you that the core messages are all the same for every person you message on Tinder or any dating app. There will be glimpses of uniqueness in each conversation, mostly at the fourth Anchor Pattern, but the anchor patterns that move you down the line are always the same. The true beauty of knowing what to say at every point in the interaction is that you can see exactly where you are going wrong. For instance, say you're on the fourth Anchor Pattern and tell her, "Tell me about yourself. Work? School? Children?" If the conversation always dries up at this point, you know the pattern needs to be adjusted, or you said something that showed low social status or low social cognition. Then, you can examine more closely the interaction to find out what went wrong to make sure it does not happen again.

The Opening Message

Before I go any further I want to introduce you to a concept called "Anchor Patterns", there are language patterns that stay the same in every interaction. For example, every conversation you have with a girl MUST include something along the lines of getting her phone number. Another example of a anchor pattern is the opening message, because you MUST use it in a conversation to progress them down the line.

The opening message should be the same for everyone, be pasted and copied from your notepad (to reduce spelling errors) and get similar results for each person that sees it. The best opening messages are ones that are funny pick-up lines, fun facts, etc. Right now, I am using a pick-up line, it works a majority of the time. I would tell you mine, but I would be doing you a disservice because what works for me won't necessarily work for you. I suggest googling pick up line, and finding some and then editing them to make them your own. This opening message needs to spike her attention and cut through the noise, and if I wasn't clear, once you find a good opening message you should be using the same one for every interaction.

Getting Her Off the App

People always struggle with this, because you can always talk on the app. But the key to moving her down the line is to get her off the app because when your on Tinder, she's comparing you to every other guy on the app. By getting her off the app, you immediately separate yourself for the rest of the guys. One thing I do, with a lot of success, is immediate get her off the app by asking for her phone number, and a social media page of hers like Snapchat or Instagram.

Anchor Pattern Two: "… What's your Snapchat and phone number, because I'm hardly on here."

Notice how, what's your phone number is typically asked as a question, but the way I worded it was a direct command? There is a reason for that. Also, do this immediately after your opening message and if she only gives you her snapchat, continue the conversation on that platform.

Gathering Intelligence and Establishing Rapport

When I get the number, I always ask for Snapchat, but I would stay away from asking for their Facebook because, typically, that's more personal and would show lower social cognition if you asked for it outright. However, if you want their Facebook, I will wait till the end of the phone call to tell her that we should add each other on Facebook. So I go for Snapchat because it can be a fun and easy way of raising her interest if it happens to lower as we continue to talk.

After she gives you her number and social media information, you have subconsciously agreed on two things. First is that you are both attracted to each other, and secondly that you are both willing to learn about each other. Also, if she doesn't give you her phone number, she will probably give you her Snapchat or Instagram, and you can continue the interaction on that platform. Lastly, if she doesn't give you any information, don't worry because it's all the same; regardless, you still proceed to the fourth Anchor Pattern.

But, let me ask you a question. How long do you have to talk to someone before they trust you? A couple of days? Weeks? For the majority of people trusting someone can happen really-really fast. Does anyone remember the Forrest Gump scene where Forrest tells the bus driver that he doesn't get in cars with strangers? Dorothy says, "Well my names is Dorothy I am your bus driver", and Forrest says, "Well, I guess where not strangers anymore" And he gets on the bus. Guess what? We are all built like that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ViyWS8GbRI

Anchor Pattern Three: "Hey. It's (Your name) from Tinder."

Now, wait for her to reply. If she doesn't respond at this point, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You did nothing wrong. Either she has low interest, or someone else is vying for her time. We got two points of contact because now you can go on Snapchat and raise her interest rather than coming across as needy by trying to do it over text messages.

After she replies, say something along, "Tell me about yourself. Are you in school? Are you working? What do you typically do for fun?" This Anchor Pattern needs to be modified to suit what you are looking for in a person. For example, if you don't want a woman with kids, replace one of the questions with 'Do you have any kids?'. If you're looking for a gym rat, replace one of the questions with 'Do you go to the gym often?'. The key with this pattern is to keep it a three-part question.

Anchor Pattern Four: "Tell me about yourself. Question A? Question B? Question C?"

Other than the phone call, this section is the least robotic of them all because you want to find the balance between having a good conversation and keeping her on the line. In other words, this is the part of the conversation where you want to find commonality. People don't associate with people with conflicting beliefs, so as a high-value male, this is also the part where you will stop talking to them if they don't meet your needs. The real key is to keep her on the line and focus on the following Anchor Pattern.

Also, find questions that are congruent with you, and ask the questions in proper order. If you don't want a woman without children, do not let that be your first question. After you've asked her about her hobbies and interests and talked about them, ask her "Do you have any children?".

Getting on The Phone and Getting the Date

IF YOU LIKE HER, tell her: "Wow, you're actually a cool person. Let's hop on a call when you're free and see if we really get along."

Notice the word actually, it implies that usually, girls do not meet your standard, but she has. Some people pick up on things like that, and it can change the dynamic of the conversation when they do. The next part, the phone call, will be the most challenging part to fake. The key to a phone call is to practice and mean what you say. I remember once this girl told me I was weird, which kind of hurt my feelings because it triggered early childhood memories. I stopped talking to people on the phone for a while because of that. The point is, everyone is weird, so have fun. Don't rehearse what to say; just reread her bio, get some solid talking points in her head, and go with the flow. You will say something along at the end of the conversation, "So, you're pretty cool. Are you free to go on a date this week?"

Anchor Patterns

  1. Opening Message
  2. … Lets text each other because I’m hardly on here. What’s your number and Snapchat?
  3. Hey. It’s (Your name) from Tinder.
  4. Tell me about yourself. Question A? Question B? Question C? (Hobbies? Interests? Things that make you smile? School? Working? Secretly a stay-at-home wife cheating on her husband? Any children?) Pick the ones that are congruent with you and what you are looking for.
  5. (Wow!) You’re actually a cool person. Let’s hop on a phone call when you’re free and see if we really get along.

Language Patterns

  1. "So tell me this, are you a more dominant person or a go with the flow-with-the-flow kind of person?". This pattern is great, because it tells you a lot about the sexuality of the person you are talking to, without openly saying it. Understand, many women don't like talking about sex with guys they just met, so by wordings the question like this you will disarm those kinds of girls. If you were texting a girl for a hook-up, you would obviously be more direct with your question. Very rarely will they say I am dominant, instead they will elude to that fact because society has taught them that women are supposed to be submissive and not dominant, so consider an eluded response as a dominant answer.
  2. "You’re actually kind of cute." Another interesting language pattern, because it implies a lot of the women you talk to, do not meet your standard of what being cute actually is.
  3. "Despite your super fascinating profile what should I know about you?"
  4. "Even though we’ve only been talking for about a week or two, I feel like we’ve really connected more than people normally do." I would stick to this pattern only if it's congruent with you and your feelings, because this can easily back-fire.
  5. "I would be glad to …" A powerful rapport builder.
  6. "Most of the girls on this app scare me, but you seem cool. Maybe it’s (x)"
  7. "How do I know you’re a real person and not some older man stalking me?" Kind of funny, would use cautiously.
  8. "I’m gonna be in (city) for a couple of days. What should I go see?" Would use when on vacation.

SAMPLE

Well, I was going to add a sample interaction but I guess pictures are not allowed.