The 'spark' was missing

Report_Topside · 2020-05-16T11:53:56+00:00

Absolutely with practice you can create a spark. Not always with every single person, but you can definitely do more to create an interesting and attractive aura

Mhotdemnot · 2020-05-16T12:58:48+00:00

All part of the game. At least she was upfront with it early. Move on to the next.

Shortblaq_rod · 2020-05-16T17:00:49+00:00

You just said it. You lack confidence. Chances are you showed this flaw of yours throughout the date. Women see this before you even open your mouth. Work on how to boost your confidence bro. You'll get there in no time.

Jellyjigglar · 2020-05-17T05:04:45+00:00

We need more details bro. Did you create any sexual energy? Kiss her? You slept alone but did you try to bring her home?

I’d do all these things. Or try to at least. Shows that you’re interested, you know what you want, and that you’re bold and take risks. I typically sleep with most girls on the first night but if I can’t make it happen they’re deff intrigued and I sleep with them on the 2nd night or rarely third.

Your girlfriends are right, sometimes there is no spark. But traditionally as a man you’re the one who lights the fire, if you’re not doing that then she has to pick up the slack.

texxmix · 2020-05-16T12:15:16+00:00

The spark is the same as feeling a connection.

We feel it when conversation flows freely, is continuously interesting and both parties are having a good time and connecting on topics of mutual interest.

A natural spark might occur when you both have a lot in common, have a similar sense of humor, and feel comfortable enough with each other to be yourself.

You could probably replicate the spark by being a really good conversationalist, asking the right questions and cold reading her interests and opinions before she tells you.

jazzy3113 · 2020-05-16T16:00:17+00:00

Sometimes she’s just not that into you. Don’t take it so personal after just 1 or 2 dates man.

Also, I’ve noticed once women cross the 30 year old mark, they can either become desperate or very very picky.

Just keep trying and realize not to take things so hard when getting rejected during dating.

In my single days I would have like 6 or 7 fund dates with a girl and then suddenly lose interest. The spark is a term used to describe that undefinable thing that when you know, you just know.

Entrepreneur1998 · 2020-05-16T19:39:14+00:00

Where do you live that women are going on dates and all?

erect_sean · 2020-05-17T02:36:15+00:00

Can we get more info on what was the conversation like? Did you flirt with each other or was it just interview mode? There are a lot of variables, maybe the conversation wasn't as solid but maybe it was nothing related to you and she was just not in the right headspace. In these situations the best thing to do is learn from the things we actually control and move on.

quinnmcd · 2020-05-16T14:01:44+00:00

Do you think with practice, you can create a spark with most women?

ABSOLUTELY! I've been on too many failed dates after a while I got a formula for getting a second date.

1) Give her an experience. I stopped doing basic things with girls (ex. going out to eat) and put more effort into finding an activity (arcade, mini golf ). Activities made my dates more fun/enjoyable and made girls want to see me again. It took a lot of pressure off forcing conversations because we have a focus on the activity more.

2) Saving your best stuff for in person. Some guys over text women and tell them more than we need to get women on a date. the date is for getting to know each other. my rule if it takes a paragraph to text then it's probably better to talk about in person. Simply leave your best stories and details about you for in person. Don't be an open book and tell her everything about you leave it for the date

3) ESCALATE. YOU CAN'T BE SCARED TO TOUCH HER. This is the most important thing. start you date off with a hug when you meet her and set the tone. Not a one arm half a sec friend hug but a full 2 arm hug that you hold for a good second (yes there is a difference) your goal should be to get a kiss or two-arm hug by the end of the date. If you have good conversations and make her feel comfortable then you'll easily complete the goal. After the activity, I like going to the bar and grabbing a drink to make kissing easier. If she doesn't let you close her during the date or let you touch her then most likely she'll friend zone you afterward.

at the end of the day, we can't connect with everyone and you're lucky she told you up front that she wasn't feeling it because most women nowadays just ghost. Keep going on dates with different women and it gets easier. you feel more comfortable/calm over time which helps you seem more confident. Don't care too much about the outcome of dates you'll get more and meet the right women in time.

Samsunga501 · 2020-05-16T16:39:14+00:00

Spark = Confidence No Confidence? -> No Sparks!

Title	The 'spark' was missing
Author	Corporate_Cog_1
Upvotes	5
Comments	21
Date	May 16, 2020 11:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gktea6/the_spark_was_missing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-spark-was-missing.1288837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1288837

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