So in one of my recent coaching sessions, I was out with a student doing in-person approaches. He’s based in Chicago, and we were working together live, right there in the field. And every five minutes - literally - he kept asking me:

“Hey man, how am I doing? Am I on the right track?”

Now, this was a guy who had a few great interactions. Some solid attraction moments. But then he'd get one rejection, and boom - he’d get totally in his head.

“Damn… maybe I’m not doing so well.”

It didn’t matter that three or four girls had responded really positively. One tough approach, and suddenly he was questioning all of it. And what I told him is something I want to share with you too - because it’s not just important in dating, but in any area where you’re trying to grow.

And that idea actually comes from… finance.

So think about investing. There are different types of investors. You’ve got the day traders - zoomed in minute-by-minute, constantly buying and selling based on tiny fluctuations. They’re glued to the screen, trying to outguess the market.

Then you’ve got long-term investors. They buy, and they hold - for years. People like Warren Buffett. These guys don’t freak out over daily dips or random volatility. They’re playing the long game. And not only does that usually lead to better returns, but it’s way less stressful.

Now imagine trying to day trade your dating progress.

That’s exactly what my student was doing. Every five minutes, he was checking the “market” of his own performance.

One good interaction? He’s up.

One bad one? He’s down.

And it was exhausting him.

So what I told him was simple: “Zoom out the time frame on how you measure progress.” Instead of asking yourself every five minutes if you’re improving, judge things week by week.

Why? Because a week gives you real data.  If you’re taking action consistently, then a week is long enough to spot trends and make adjustments. But five minutes? That’s just noise. You could be doing everything right and still get rejected three times in a row.

Short-term randomness doesn’t equal failure. Zooming out allows you to evaluate with clarity instead of emotion.

Two Big Wins When You Zoom Out

So here’s what happens when you evaluate weekly instead of obsessing over every moment:

1 - You get a more honest and accurate picture of your progress. You’re no longer reacting to noise. You’re looking at actual patterns and behavior. That makes your self-assessment 10x more useful.

2 - You can finally relax. When you stop checking your “progress dashboard” every five minutes, your nervous system chills out. You stop constantly thinking:

“Am I saying the right thing? Is she into me? Shit, I just got rejected - does that mean I suck?”

That kind of mental pressure adds a ton of unnecessary stress. And honestly, when you’re in that mindset, it’s way harder to improve because you're just overthinking everything.

Yes - you do need to evaluate your progress. But not minute by minute. Not even day by day.

Unless you're doing a ton of approaches daily, I’d recommend judging your progress once a week. Look back. See what’s working, what isn’t. Make changes from there.

That’s how you actually improve. That’s how you stay sane. And that’s how you enjoy the process a lot more.