I have seen many posts on tinder ever since it has come out, at least a few each week. I have even commented on a few, suggesting and learning ways to use the application to my advantage. But as its starts to settle in and lose its novelty, what is it actually?

Aside from being an application where you can talk to women/men that are interested in you, I believe it to serve some sort of ego booster for many. Some people have tag lines like:

  • "Im taken", "I'm not going to give you my number", "I use the application to gain attention!"

So what is the point of using this application. Is it even possible to get anything out of it?!? Obviously the answer is yes, you can meet and hookup with chicks through it, but not as you may think. There are a few things about tinder that I will outline: It is a numbers game, You will not meet women you truly desire, and It is a waste of time

To explain methodology briefly (since people don't seem to care about posts that don't explain literally what to recite), I will refer to a previous post that I read last week. Tinder has a lot of users, practically everyone with an Iphone uses it. What is the motive? To hookup with hot chicks/guys in a quick and easy way through your phone. Who could say no!? But a serious problem lies within this.

  • /u/throwaway_jevs explains in his post how there are just as many Horney women as men on this application, and to some degree, yes, I agree. There lies a serious problem in this though, there are disseminating ideas as to what is viewed as attractive. If you are physically attractive, in a band, and truly are free to express yourself sexually with others then you will get women regardless, and chances are you will get way more if you just game in the real world. Likes on Tinder are based off of the most superficial of the superficial, so if you aren't a >7, forget about hooking up with someone >6. His tips work for him because that is who he is, and he naturally has attractive qualities that women want. If I went out and tried to emulate what he does, it probably wouldn't work.

  • My personal opinion on how to use tinder is quite general. To preset this, lets be honest, you're probably not using tinder to meet a girlfriend, but if you are, this doesn't apply to you. Based off of this, it doesn't matter if the girl sees you as the "real you" now does it? So pick what you deem to be the most attractive pictures of you (preferable ones w/ other attractive women/guys to inspire jealousy, or get an accidental swipe thinking you were someone else), put what ever bio you want (I don't think it really matters), and swipe to the right all day. If they swipe you, chances are they think your attractive. If you don't like them, delete them, now you have avoided precious time judging wether or not to like, even when they weren't going to like you back in the first place.

    • congratulations, you have a new match! You can refer to other posts for cutsie openers, but I usually just go for "hey, you're cute....whats up". I just go for general banter, and try to find out where they're from ASAP, to determine if its even a possibility of hooking up. After some back and fourth, I escalate a little, and try to get a somewhat sexual conversation going. Something that refers to sex, an innuendo, is perfect because when you finally ask for her number (or meetup/what have you) you can throw the innuendo in, insinuating that you're going to have sex, but can be perceived as a joke (leaving it up to them to decide on the meaning).

  • An example of this may be using a code word for sex/orgasm/head/ect. Like "whats youre phone number? I promise I make good eggs ;)" (pre-contexting eggs as sex or a morning after)

  • If you've been flirty enough and have her number, good! Now setup the date asap, and/or text her everyday, but in a non needy way. Why text so much? Do you really think a girl is going to think about/ remember a random guy from tinder all day, or, more than a day? If you get the number, set up a date and wait (or wait a few days to msg her), then she will probably have some sort of reason for backing out. Bring it up early, chat her up untill the date can happen, bring it up around the date. The day before, all text should be about the date, or no texting at all, provided she asserts that shes still down by this point, you're set. Also snapchat is fucking amazing for seeming more real to her, keeping her interest/intrigue, and not seeming needy since she might think you just mass send the snaps. (snapchat is the bomb, calls for her to act/respond physically ASAP, imagine how long it takes you to get a good picture for her, now multiply that by 2, and thats how much she's trying).

So I've provided you with the outline of my general approach, now why do I not like tinder? It seems so easy and good right?

  • 1) It is a numbers game: Yup thats right, it doesn't matter who you are (unless you're brad pitt), tinder is all numbers. Like 1000 girls and maybe a few will be down to meet up, even if you played all of your cards right. Why is this? Some girls have already made up their mind that they simply aren't going to fuck/meet a random guy over the internet. Although it may be closed minded in your opinion, that wont change her stance. Many people have explained the societal pressures on women, that if they fuck a random guy, they'll be viewed as a slut. Think of how much worse this would be if they met up with and fucked a guy she didn't know from tinder (there is a social stigma to it). Due to this, girls will be more reluctant to meeting up, which leads into my second point

  • 2) You will not meet women you truly desire: Lets say you finally game properly and find a chick thats down to meet up. First of all, they have over come the consequences of how society will view them. This could either be because, she is awesome and doesn't give a fuck (good luck finding her), is a massive slut (watch out for STD's), or is SUPER needy (there may be other I forget, you cant narrow it down into a list of 3). Raise your hand if you would want your wife to be the sort of girl that would go fuck a guy from tinder, because his messages and profile were too irresistible. If you're hand is up, go for it, otherwise, thats what I thought. You will not find the girl you really want through tinder, the odds are just too slim, and if you do, its either because you drank that harry potter luck potion, or you have been using the application nonstop since it came out. Sure it can lead to an easy fuck if they're down, but will you feel better as a person for fucking someone that is more needy? this leads into my final point

  • 3) It is a waste of you PRECIOUS TIME!!! my precious: Lets face it, scarcity is real. You can't have everything. Is your single most important thing in life to fuck random girls? No. You're on seduction because you want to be better with women, so you can allow them to see the real you, and ultimately gain happiness from this. If a girl comes by and you end up becoming exclusive then be it, if not then thats how it works. My very subjective view is as follows: Tinder is for, and supports, people who are sexually insecure, desiring sexual experiences at great costs. Yes, I use tinder, so yes I do think I am sexually insecure because of this. If I didn't want sex as badly, then I wouldn't be using the app, but the allure of meeting a girl from the swipe of a finger for a quick fuck is too appealing. If I wanted to use my precious time properly then I would not go on the app, walk out the door, and game in real life, day or night. The real women you want to meet are out there, not constrained by the virtual walls of the application which they don't wish to climb over for you. The women that aren't needy are in the real world, they don't need an app to meet attractive guys, they are already hitting on her (or not because they are too attractive and everyone is an AFC :) love you seddit).

Tinder is a waste of time. You may fuck, even get a suck, but only if your in luck, with a horse sized duck. I know its stupid to say just go out and game, but its true. If you have decent game, then chances are you agree with me (or not, this is just an opinion), but I feel like tinder promotes, and allows AFC's a way to "game" without having to face rejection. REJECTION in my mind, is the single biggest thing holding people back from going out and gaming, tinder provides an outlet to avoid rejection, and still pseudo game. For this reason although tinder may work it is a waste of time, if you are actually trying to improve you're life. You wont feel satisfied from fucking 10 random chicks on tinder, you might think you will because sex is awesome right? But i guarantee that it will feel shallow and not fulfilling. The folly of man is to fall for a vice, and that tinder is. Lust has been considered a sin for a long time, to which I am subject to, but I at the very least ask you to think of what you have to gain from tinder. Is it really worth it?

Philosophy and self reflection: I don't know when I'll finally feel satisfied/abundent/ and content with my life and who I am. It's in human nature to second guess, question, self reflect, and regret. Perhaps one day when I finally transcend thought and action (congruence as Tyler likes to put it) I will be able to overcome tinder, but for now, consume me! I subject to Epicurus, and will remain a man who seeks pleasure, even through the deceitful promise of happiness. Thanks for reading, I know its long, but even just for me, it helps to write these things out and self reflect. Go out and read some philosophy, question your motives and actions!

TL;DR: Tinder can work through ways described on this sub, but it will not make you happy, the ultimate goal of life and motive behind all actions (or at least from the view of a stoic philosopher :P).