I noticed a lot of comments about not getting replies, not getting matches, etc... I’ve been using tinder for a year, have landed 0 numbers, barely had matches. And obviously, no dates. Over the past month, this all changed. I had an “awakening.”

Profile: Tinder is not your Facebook. Fake advertising is perfectly fine. Find the most attractive picture of just you, and please be smiling, and put that as your main pic. Your second picture could be another picture of you or a group picture, whatever you like. Make sure it’s a clear picture with good lighting. If that means you have to ask someone to take it with a DSLR, so be it.

Make sure to add a picture of you doing something you enjoy, be it a sport, an instrument, anything. A candid picture. This will make you seem interesting, not boring.

Absolutely no mirror pics, and especially no mirror pics of you flexing. You can put pictures of your body, but they have to be candid. Such as you hiking, or a candid photo of you doing a sport. Don’t bother with the gym pics. The more candid pics you have, the better.

Bio: USE THE BIO. Whether it be for a joke, or to talk about yourself (preferably both), just use the bio. Keep it short and simple. No one looks at the bio for more than 3 seconds.

Replies: Trust me, up until a few weeks ago I barely got replies, and like I said no numbers. It’s all about what you say. I’m also pretty sure the Tinder algorithm is tweaked to give you more matches when you get more responses or something, because my matches also shot up. But it could just be pure coincidence. As I write this, I just got a text from one of the Tinder girls. I have 3 dates set this week, and a whole bunch of unsaved numbers in my text app. I reached a point where some girls literally give me their number and I don’t text because I have too much on my plate. This is all because I changed my attitude regarding what I say.

Basically, it comes down to this: be a decent goddamn human being, as you would with a girl you see in real life. You don’t walk up to a girl in a bar and say “do you like bread?”

Assess the situation. Is she cheesy in her bio? Does she have no bio at? What are her pics like? And respond accordingly. Catch her interest. If she asks for a pick up line, give her a pick up line she could laugh it. If she just talks about herself, point out something about her, or ask her a question about herself. Don’t bother with puns about her name, she’s heard it a million times every day. Worst comes to worst, no music or bio or anything, point something out from her pictures. The point is, there’s no one size fits all, each girl is different, and you should assess the situation accordingly. All I’m saying is: stop with the goddamn cringey one liners.

More importantly, girls don’t like to feel like sluts, justifiably so. There’s social stigma to it. That means that no matter how horny a girl is, she won’t react to sexual messages from a total stranger, unlike most men. So don’t start off making sexual comments. Maybe a few messages in, after she’s felt “safe.” But your first few messages should not be “hey bae won sum fk?”

As you text, be yourself. If you’re a dork, be a dork. If you’re a nerd, be a nerd. If you’re sarcastic, be sarcastic. This will allow you to filter our girls who have nothing in common with you, or don’t appreciate your humor, or else, saving you the trouble of exhausting yourself in texts and probably not landing a date at all. And on the off chance you do, it’ll be boring.

The type of stuff you see on here (/r/tinder) won’t get you anywhere, I tried them for the longest time.

Getting her number: at this point, there’s a fair amount of my tinder matches just give me their numbers or snaps without me asking. And this is because I’ve had a fun conversation with them. Act like you’re having a conversation with a friend, and this will save you the trouble of straining your mind. Don’t overthink the messages. Again, if you’re not compatible, you’re not compatible. No harm done.

But still, not all girls will just give your their number just because you had a fun conversation. That’s why you should make it your number 1 priority to ask for it as soon as possible. After a few fun messages, find a smooth way to ask for number. I don’t care what, just find a way. Off the top of my head, because this is reddit, I might say something like: “you know if you type your number on tinder, it censors it? Here, look: 1-xxx-xxx-xxxx”

Once you get the number keep the same rhythm. Again, it’s like you’re texting your friend. It shouldn’t be hard.

And no unsolicited dick pics.

Happy swiping.