Tips for Dating an Attention Whore

jayman419 · 2013-11-29T09:19:31+00:00

Let me rearrange the things you've written and see if we can bring some clarity to the situation.

[after 3 weeks of dating we slept together]

[over the next 5 weeks our relationship has settled at seeing one another] approximately every other day

(Note: By my math, you've already been with her 2 months at this point, and you're seeing her 3-4 times per week.)

says she has a history of extended LTR

she has told me on two occasions that she only sleeps with one guy at a time

once asked me if I was sleeping with anyone else [and I said no]

I have met some of her friends ... she's trying to get me come to more events where her friends are present

often telling me she misses me

When she was sick, I did a few AFC favors

I haven't had a lot of opportunities to tell her no

'etc.'

What you've got here is a girlfriend.

[she] works in an industry that provides her with a lot of male attention... which she definitely seems to enjoy

everything leads me to believe that she's not looking for a LTR

'Everything' except all the stuff she's said and done, you mean. She may get a lot of male attention at her job, she may flirt with guys at her job, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's willing to sleep with any of them. It doesn't even prove that she's looking to do anything more than accept their attention and/or flirt with them for her job.

You're dating a girl in your head that's different than the one in your bed.

I don't think she is trying to get me into monogamous relationship

probably bc she enjoys the pursuit of the other guys in her life

What other guys? She's already established that you're exclusive. She's sleeping with you. She only sleeps with one guy at a time. And you've already agreed to it. She wasn't asking who you were sleeping with out of idle curiosity.

I'm having a hard time finding the balance between the [FWB and LTR].

You've already crossed into the little section of the map labled "Here there be dragons".

As I see it (and you seem to agree based on the following statements...)

Should I make a point to establish boundaries?

How available should I be

How do I keep the attraction up?

I've been spending too much time creating comfort.

Your only options are to be a total dick and pull way back from what you've already established as 'normal', then string her along as an occasional fuck buddy until she gets sick of it, or go whole hog and see how it works out as a 'real' potential LTR.

EDIT: Cleaned up the quotes.

wrdp · 2013-11-29T05:51:56+00:00

Don't date an attention whore, find a real woman.

Also, you're seeing her way too often. Every other day? Come on dude, twice a week tops. Scarcity makes you more valuable. You're slowly killing attraction by seeing her that often. Separate yourself from the herd of men that she's constantly exposed to.

Yes establish boundaries. She hasn't given you one chance to say no? Really? If she never hears you say no she will eventually lose respect for you and drop you.

2013-11-29T05:39:05+00:00

Tips for Dating an attention whore. DO NOT date an attention whore.

JohnnyB11790 · 2013-11-29T23:02:16+00:00

If you want to date her date her.

You know the consequences from being in the community. don't hold it against her when things get messy.

I think she is trying to make you feel threatened but safe at the same time pushing you into a LTR. You need to avoid this at all cost and only get into a relationship with her if it is what you want to do. She wants to make you feel like you have a time limit of being with her before someone else gets her (threat and most likely empty if she only sleeps with one guy at a time). She wants you to feel safe by saying that she does not want LTR (my guess that is the only thing that this girl knows if she is trying to jump in with another guy after 3 weeks).

Know that if you ignore her behavior and give her no attention she will most likely either find attention somewhere else, or try to hurt you to gain your attention.

To be in a relationship you kind of need to take them the way they are. You can change little things, but it's much harder to change the big things.

Good luck man hopefully no one discourages you from a choice that is yours.

JB

psycho-logical · 2013-11-29T07:43:50+00:00

I would say don't listen to a lot of these comments and do what you want to do. You said yourself she isn't LTR material. Pull back a bit (see her 2-3 times a week) and be upfront with her about wanting to keep it FWB. Don't string her along with her hoping it turns into more and try not to get too attached to her. Enjoy having fun and the sex with a hottie. If it ends, no big deal. Frees you up to invest your time and energy into something or someone else :)

kingcal · 2013-11-29T07:05:12+00:00

Everyone likes receiving attention. It doesn't make you an attention whore just because you enjoy it. It seems very judgmental of you to think so. As far as I can see, she's monogamous with you, honest about the scope of the relationship, has a history of committed relationships, and even seems to enjoy spending time with you in the company of her friends (something generally not reserved for someone who's just a boy toy).

Unless you've got something else to tell us, it sounds like you're just being butthurt about other guys hitting on a girl that you're involved with.

The problem with the advice you're asking for is that you're not very specific about what you want. "Something in between" is not defined enough. You need to figure out what you want. After that, tell her what you want. If you want to see her X times a week, tell her that. If you want to spend time with her and her friends, tell her. If you want to keep it strictly physical, tell her.

WonderBoy59 · 2013-11-29T06:45:42+00:00

Tips for dating an attention whore : Don't.

spartan1337 · 2013-11-29T06:53:24+00:00

I think you got your answer.

Title	Tips for Dating an Attention Whore
Author	cslockup
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	November 29, 2013 4:49 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rovl2/tips_for_dating_an_attention_whore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tips-for-dating-an-attention-whore.1294647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294647

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