Recovering AFC here. I just got back from a second date that ended with me telling her, "let's just be friends". I just didn't feel much chemistry.
Throughout the night, I kept telling myself, "Escalate! Kino! Take her hand! Get her comfortable!", but not actually finding good opportunities to do so. In this case, I also didn't find myself very physically attracted to this girl. But for the most part, I think I'm often just straight up afraid to escalate.
I feel like I have a lot going for me otherwise. I have a fulfilling career. I'm pretty happy with how I look. I make new friends easily, and I feel like I can talk to virtually anybody. I don't usually have a problem #-closing and setting up dates. No problem with eye contact. But when it comes to physical escalation, I'm just not comfortable yet.
I've never k-closed or f-closed. I often find myself sitting across from a girl at a table at a cafe or restaurant, waiting for an opening, unsure of how to physically escalate (I know this seating sucks for kino, but that's just how most tables are arranged.)
So guys -- any tips? I've read the escalation ladder. I can do incidental kino, but I have trouble with anything higher, or I guess anything that demonstrates intent. I guess I'm just nervous when it comes to physically showing the girl that I'm into her.
Love to hear your advice.
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