Today we're going to discuss confidence and I'll be giving you a few tips on building it.

When women are asked to describe qualities they want in men, confidence is always near the top of the list.

But what does it really mean to be confident?

To me confidence comes down to having the belief that you will be able to handle anything that comes your way. No matter what happens, you'll deal with it.

Confidence is important to women because it helps them to feel safe. If a woman is with a guy who communicates that he can handle anything life can throw at him, she doesn't have to worry about it. This allows a woman to relax and take a more feminine role in the interaction.

Confidence begins with positive self talk. Successful people have inner dialogues of success. They don't beat themselves up when they make mistakes, or focus on past failures. Instead they keep their thoughts positive and productive.

If a girl isn't interested in you when you approach her, there's no point in being upset, instead focus on how you've now freed up your time to meet a girl who will like you.

Always remember to ask yourself " What is good about this situation?", " What can I learn from this?", and " What is the most fun thing I can do right now?".

Confident people aren't afraid to get rejected. You have to demonstrate to women that whether or not they like you has no barring on your confidence. You have to recognize that rejection is a part of the game.

The best guys I've ever met with women get rejected. A LOT. You will never be able to completely eliminate the numbers game element of approaching strangers. The more you get rejected, the more you will get laid.

Confident people have confident body language. There is a distinct link between physiology and emotional states. Imagine a depressed person. What does their body language look like?

If you're like most people you probably imagined a guy or girl with slumped shoulders, a distressed, nervous look on their face and even shallow breathing.

Now imagine a person who is confident. What do you see? Again most people imagine someone with good posture, a beaming smile, slow deliberate movements, good eye contact etc... Here's three things you can do right away to make your body language more confident.

  1. Smile. The more people will perceive you as confident.

  2. Stand up straight. Imagine there is an imaginary string pulling your chest up toward the sky. Keep your shoulders back and your stomach in.

  3. Move slowly. The slower and more deliberate you make your movements the more confidently you will come across.

Confident people are not afraid to share things about themselves. I've taught a lot of students in the last few years and one of the things I always notice, is that most students don't like talking about themselves.

It can even get so bad that they will purposely not tell women they are interested in interesting things about themselves. I once had a student who was a firefighter, we were debriefing in class the second day of seminar and I asked him how many girls he talked to. He said 15. I asked him how many of those girls knew he was a firefighter. He said 0.

What he didn't realize was that firefighter consistently ranks as one of the most attractive identities a man can have. He told every woman he talked to the following night and ended up making out with a very pretty young lady.

Hope that helps you guys who are wondering how to be (or appear) confident around women.

(a friend emails me these things, so I don't know the source but I believe it's from Sinn. Please correct me if I'm wrong. A google search came up with nothing.)