Can someone explain silences or gaps in conversation and how it helps build attraction?

iforgot120 · 2011-11-15T05:28:43+00:00

If you're comfortable during moments of silence, you'll probably be comfortable during all other interactions, too. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. You know how good friends have those "friendly silent" moments where they just acknowledge each others' presence and take in the moment? It's kind of like that. There doesn't have to be constant conversation; just take in the moment.

IsItTheBagel · 2011-11-15T04:11:19+00:00

I don't know the answer as well as others probably do, but here's my take on it. Being silent shows that you're very comfortable with yourself and you don't need validation from anyone. The woman will inevitably ask you a question or something after a long enough silence thus making herself more interested in you.

rmbarnes · 2011-11-15T13:48:13+00:00

Silences like these cause tension, and this can be perceived as sexual tension.

heckz · 2011-11-16T03:37:59+00:00

during silence she is thinking "what is he thinking? does he like me?"

Epoh · 2011-11-15T11:50:35+00:00

I used to let these things bug me but after suffering for over 4 years, you learn to just let some things slide that don't concern you as much as other things. If you control the conversation, share some solid insight with emotion behind it for an extended period of time, and if someone responds with a short statement, they will feel immense pressure for the silence and try to either come back with more on that subject or match the level of conversation that you are bringing to the table with a subject of their own.

The only way this silence could backfire is if you are reading that they don't seem interested during your interaction. If this happens you need to reflect on: your social skills, your ability to read people or accept something is wrong with her. Silence shouldnt backfire on you though if you read it correctly and things are going well, so do not react by talking incessantly coming across needy by sucking up as a product of your panic in silence. Take the highroad and confront their boredom of you with honesty or simply leave the situation politely.

monsquid · 2011-11-16T00:13:37+00:00

In my recent interactions I've successfully and deliberately used silences to create more attraction and emotional response. What works for me is just ignore the last sentence, whoever said it and intensely and directly into her eyes. She will usually shy away but look again, I usually smile and say something ambiguous but emotionally charged like "You know, it's hard to imagine living without some people in your life..." deliberate silence then watch her emotional response. If she's responding well you can continue on a more intimate conversation with more eye contact or if she's not responding you bring the conversation back to neutral with something like "cause my friend Kim said..."

Key is being the leader in the communication. Intense, almost scary eye contact is very good if used sparingly and always leveraged with a playful smile during silences.

Very important to be in a comfortable and isolated environment. Can't have friends or others barging in and breaking state.

Title	Can someone explain silences or gaps in conversation and how it helps build attraction?
Author	SoBoredAtWork
Upvotes	8
Comments	10
Date	November 14, 2011 5:24 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mbysx/can_someone_explain_silences_or_gaps_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-someone-explain-silences-or-gaps-in.1324898 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324898

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