Trying too hard.

originalalt · 2012-02-09T18:08:11+00:00

The biggest issue: outcome dependence. Stop going out and think of what you must accomplish. It's ok to have goals like, talk to 10 people or whatever, but don't set outcome specific goals. Don't be like "i have to get laid tonight" That's a fucking loser attitude. The girls there are suddenly the judges of whether or not you have a succesful night. You are dependent on them and you are therefore "performing" and trying too hard. Just relax and think to yourself you're there to HAVE FUN. Talk to the girls if they're fun to talk to. Start judging girls instead of considering yourself the one being judged. Is this girl fun to talk to, do I actually want to continue this conversation - or find someone else? How can I make this conversation fun for ME to be in?

Think about your mindset before you even leave your house. Have fun and be positive. If you have fun you win, and if you get laid it's double win, but there's no losing in having fun.

solen-skiner · 2012-02-09T09:18:13+00:00

Do things you normally would never in a thousand years! Remove your own impression of yourself as someone who does give a fuck! Go down to the corner store with fucking cumstains on your pants, diss a girl by saying i really need to go have a massive shit then just walk away, go out unshowered in 3 days old clothes. Fucking immersion therapy, man!

2012-02-09T17:04:05+00:00

I used to do exactly this. Nobody told me that I was doing this but I kind of figured it out when people stopped inviting me out even though it seemed like was being enjoyable.

It's an easy fix. If I've been talking a lot for the past 10 minutes or interacting, then I just realise it and stop. Zone out, listen to others talk or wait for them to engage you

Eventually you'll get pulled back into the conversation. Eventually this becomes habit so you are talking mostly when you have something vauable to say or when someone brings you into the conversation

I know seeking validation is discouraged, but it feels nice a few months down the road to see that more than half the time its other people initiating discussion with you and not the other way around

2012-02-09T16:05:08+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdHX1Bent0&list=LLVEa8XrZX4QmPd1PaM3Oalw&feature=mh_lolz

atypicaltool · 2012-02-09T19:31:04+00:00

Have you seen little-man-syndrome? Do you uplift yourself? Try to not say one positive thing about yourself in a group. Hell you can even dis yourself. Only if that is your problem.

totalradass · 2012-02-09T09:25:27+00:00

To reach equilibrium you have to swing the pendulum. If you want to end up normal from chodey nice guy, you have to swing over into what you perceive as being doucheville.

Title	Trying too hard.
Author	Jester0203
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	February 9, 2012 8:49 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/phlwg/trying_too_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trying-too-hard.1328090 https://theredarchive.com/post/1328090

Comments