"Trying too hard..."

MuchMouthen · 2014-07-24T16:35:57+00:00

The best answer I have is to "let it go." Guys who are smooth, suave, alpha, charismatic, etc aren't thinking about it. If you are, you are behaving too consciously and deliberately which comes across as fake or needy. This isn't a big deal, it just means you need to have more real-life interactions where you experiment and get out of your comfort zone.

The guys who have the characteristics you want have them because they have talked to thousands and basically have figured out a healthy number of actions / responses / etc that work for them (and their personality) consistently.

So the answer is practice. Keep trying different things. Try emulating someone famous who you see as the epitome of those characteristics. Even memorize some witty responses to things the way he would say them.

Then, once you try some of these lines enough you will see what works for you and develop your own lines. At the same time you will develop enough comfort with yourself to deliver them naturally.

If you are concerned with how others perceive you, you are already working from a point of neediness. Neediness is the biggest enemy of success here. Learn how to not give a fuck and realize that everyone else is a stranger you will never see again. Take risks. Be friendly.

Practice this enough and you will never feel needy again.

chaldeanrefuge · 2014-07-24T00:37:38+00:00

Slow down how fast you talk. Avoid uptalk (valley-girl talk). Don't agree with everything she says. Be more sexual. As you do more sets and have more success, this tends to die out naturally.

And there's nothing wrong with being excited or energetic. This can be used to convince a woman or women that you just met that you're fun and they'll have a good time with you.

readonlyuser · 2014-07-24T12:37:47+00:00

I responded to a similar issue earlier, so forgive the copy and paste:

Hey, I believe this is symptomatic of smaller conversational issues, rather than a fundamental difference of personalities.

Here's a few things to think about when you're talking to girls:

How quickly are you speaking?

How much are you moving around while talking?

Are you laughing at your own jokes?

Are you using a lot of hand gestures?

Are you making good eye contact?

Are you qualifying yourself too much?

Are you standing up straight? Feet wide apart?

How intense are your facial expressions? Are they exaggerated?

Fix some of that stuff, and you'll see some changes.

apolloseven · 2014-07-23T22:55:51+00:00

Isn't that the million dollar question. The answer? Just be more concerned with yourself and your own goals in life. Stop gauging your own self worth by the metrics of others.

dking168 · 2014-07-24T03:04:38+00:00

If every guy had the answer, the PUA industry would not exist.

Title	"Trying too hard..."
Author	youlovethisish
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	July 23, 2014 10:27 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2bjfss/trying_too_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trying-too-hard.1374056 https://theredarchive.com/post/1374056

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