Incoming motivational post.

I was walking off of a 6 hour train ride. As I stand in line to disembark I notice a cute girl next to me. Another friend with her. I see them check me out. I open my mouth to say, "Hello girls" as I usually do when I see a cute girl next to me, but I feel like absolute shit and freeze up.

I'm sweating. My skin is sticky. My clothes feel sticky from sweat. I'm wearing my glasses (I always feel 2x as noob when wearing glasses, plus falling asleep on a train with contacts = bad news bears). I'm just not into it. It doesn't usually stop me, but I'm also running on 3 hours of sleep and had a half hour of shitty sleep on the train.

First derp.

We slowly make our way to the door. I see more glances from the cute girl. I say nothing. She's standing right next to me.

We get off and the two girls step to the side and look towards another part of the train. They must be waiting for a friend. Okay, no more continued embarrassment (if they'd continued to walk with me, I'd feel the pressure to say something, and might have, but if I didn't, I'd feel even worse).

I walk off and take the L.

After grabbing a sandwich, I head to the subway, happy to be close to home so I can take a shower. As I wait for the subway, I look to my right. The two girls with a new third girl. A cute blonde with a nice ass and good style.

Fuck.

"Hey, girls" *pause and wait for them to look* "Your friend," *point to blonde* "is super cute and has great style" *wait for response*

That's...what I would have done if I wasn't derping. I've done it a ridiculous amount of times before, but nope. Not in the mood. Or I'm pussying out.

Second derp.

I probe my mind and search for the patterns of thought surrounding the current moment. My expectations of myself, the fantasies of approaching vs not approaching, me mocking myself, etc. I find the meditation of this rare occurrence of approach anxiety to be fun. Maybe, in the long-term, it will be more valuable than any fruit of actually approaching (I'm an avid meditator).

The train arrives. I board it. The girls stand near me in the train. The blonde glances my way a few times. Okay, now multiple girls from the group have checked me out.

I try to look stoic and not glance at them too much, keeping them in my peripherals. One of them takes an open seat.

After one stop, two more seats open up behind the other two girls. I walk towards it, intending to say, "Hey girls, take these seats if you like." It's an easy open and is very gracious, but also dominant. Then I can lead it into a compliment (have done this exact open a few times before). As I'm about to walk behind them and comment, they turn and see the seats. I pause. There's a milisecond of "Who's going to take the seat?" I half contemplate sitting there and being a dick, then giving them a wry smile. Would be funny. But I don't. Instead, I half-gesture towards the seats then walk past them. I see the blonde look at me expectantly but then I do nothing.

Derp three for me.

I sit down at a different seat across from them and watch as they steal glances at me at various points on the journey, but after a certain amount of time, I decide I'm not going to say anything and am just going to take the L.

Yes, it's better to do SOMETHING when the perfect moment as passed, since something is better than nothing in cold approach situations like these when you won't see those girls ever again, but I was over it.

The girls eventually left. Two of them out the left entrance, then the less attractive one to the right, walking past me, and doing a weird half stop in front of me and glancing at me, to see if I'll say anything. Nope, sorry hun, I'm being a retard today.

Then I come home, take a shower, and type up this for you guys as I drink a beer and eat a Subway sandwich. If I can't do a half-good approach today, I'll at least help inspire someone with some humility, since that is my job after all.

For reference, I do this professionally. I teach men how to talk to people and pick up girls. I very, VERY rarely have approach anxiety. After 10,000+ approaches (no, I'm not exaggerating), ~100 lays, and countless other sexual and romantic encounters, you would think this doesn't happen to me, but it does (inb4 someone calls this out for humble bragging or some shit. It's context, so if you want to troll, pick a less low hanging fruit).

For those who are starting out, already doing work, or already advanced, let me tell you - I know guys who make me look like a virgin and have seen even them do some dumb shit, derp out, and pussy out. It happens.

So if you're beating yourself up about not approaching, not escalating, or not closing, relax. You SHOULD criticize your behavior and improve where you can, but I've beat myself up enough times to know that it's only benefit is the discipline that comes with it, and you self-abuse does not need to walk with discipline. I say this because the amount of approach anxiety and self-esteem posts on this subreddit is astounding - you need to hear this.

We all started somewhere. And even after being far down the journey, we still derp like we're beginners again.

Go out. Approach. There are an infinite number of details in this art that change and morph as you progress, but until you get there, don't worry about it.

If you want dates, sex, and romance, go out. Approach.

Again and again and again. There's no substitute for genuine knowledge of women gained by hard experience. Working out doesn't substitute. Money doesn't substitute. Fame and status come close, but even then, they don't substitute (I've seen rich/good-looking/famous people get nubbed right in front of my eyes).

And have fun, cuz we all derp sometimes.

EDIT: Apparently some might interpret this the wrong way. Look down to the comments where we discuss a possible misinterpretation of the post.

Hector Castillo