Where is the line between being changing some personality traits and not being true to yourself

puaCurveBall · 2011-10-24T20:51:55+00:00

You live in a world full of people, and if you choose to interact with those people then of course you have to change how you outwardly interact with them.

The phrase "try hard" is referring to when you want a goal (such as sleeping with a girl or more simply making her like you) and you incorrectly think certain actions are going towards that goal, and do too much of them.

I don't know anyone that would use that phrase in relationship self improvement, in that case try as hard as you can!!!

Realize that speaking quickly and laughing too easily are social things that are burned in over time and don't necessarily reflect the "real you", and that wanting to change them is perfectly fine and a great thing to do.

Look at a guy who builds his own house, or NASA going to the moon... were they trying too hard? Hell no! Spending 100% of your effort towards a goal is a great thing, as long as you consciously know the goal and the effort you are spending gets you to that goal.

MaestrO_ · 2011-10-25T00:58:51+00:00

I think the simplest way to put it is: Changing yourself for someone else, rather than to better who you are as a person, and doing it for YOU.

notlurkinganymoar · 2011-10-24T21:55:55+00:00

Changing a trait for the positive = standing up straight and being comfortable with wh you are.

Not being true to yourself = doing something you dont want to do (unless you've specifically chosen that activity to make you better at something else) and/or pretending you're interested in something you're not.

These are just examples.

nightmare_scenario · 2011-10-25T06:13:27+00:00

It's the difference between restoring a car you like vs. replacing it with a car you hate but hope everyone else will like.

The fact is, you own yourself. You define what is true to you. When you don't like yourself because of your behavior is when you cross that line. Luckily, you can always go back and expand in a different direction.

miles_v · 2011-10-25T21:10:35+00:00

I believe that you choose who you want to be, so, to a large degree what is or is not "true to yourself" is up to you.

However, it's possible to want to change for the wrong reasons.

Here's the guideline I use: is the desire for change fear-based? If it is, don't do it and confront the fear instead. Once you've confronted the fear and gained self-acceptance in that area of your life, see if you still want to change. If the desire for change is coming from a confident place and is not fear-based, go for it.

Title	Where is the line between being changing some personality traits and not being true to yourself
Author	pressureee
Upvotes	8
Comments	6
Date	October 24, 2011 8:27 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lnief/where_is_the_line_between_being_changing_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-is-the-line-between-being-changing-some.1324174 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324174

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