3rd year college student, joined a few societies recently after being completely alone throughout high school and the past 2 years at college, after getting drunk a few times and trying to talk to people I didnt know I came out without any new contacts or friends or anything. Whenever I talk to a girl I get this sort of 'concerned' look and they usually say something really quietly and thats it.

I dont know anyone on my course. Occasionally we get set up in group projects with other people, I had a group that was entirely girls (3) and during a lull when everyone was looking at their phones I said to the person next to me something like "so how are you getting on with <other part of the class>?" and I got the same reaction, just this look like someone had fallen over near her and she muttered something I didnt hear.

Its the same at parties, even a few times when girls have initiated contact it just dies within seconds.

Its not hygiene. I put in immense effort into hygiene, grooming, fitness, everything. I read books on interaction, body language, everything, ive been going to therapy for almost a decade. What the fuck am I doing wrong? To be honest I feel suicidal, every time I socialise I feel like im running into a brick wall.

Maybe this subreddit is too advanced, but all others just repeat the basic things about "talk about the weather" and "remember to shower" as if I wasnt already.