There are a lot of losers and crybabies in the “manosphere” on the internet that whine about terrible women are, mostly because they’ve been rejected by them. Other guys think that life is easy for hot women and they can just coast on being hot. I don’t deny that some women are bad people and some women use their appearance for advantages in life. But a lot of this crybabyness stems from men who simply do not understand that women are different and face unique challenges. So I tried to write an article describing women’s unique challenges.

I start by saying that I am not a woman, and I have never been a woman, so I will never really know how a woman thinks. These are all my best guesses from what I’ve read, what women have told me, and what I have observed. I am absolutely sure at least some of this is wrong. So if you have any thoughts, let me know.

Emotional buttons Men and women want basically the same thing in relationships over the long term: great sex, an attractive partner, kindness, loyalty, compassion, love, an interesting, confident partner, etc… But men and women emotionally differ in what they want over the short term. In the short term, men just want sex with the hottest woman they can find because, evolutionary, men evolved to have as many babies as possible. Men don’t get pregnant, so they can impregnate hundreds of women in a day if they really wanted to.

Women on the other hand, have a lot longer list of criteria of what emotionally turns them on. Women want a guy who is physically attractive, but they also want a man who is confident, intelligent, in control, can provide, etc… Women also want to know that a man has the potential to commit over the long term.

For men, this is good news and bad news. It’s bad news because it means that men have to succeed in a lot more different areas to become attractive than women do. A woman can just look hot, but a man actually has to be successful, confident, and emotionally stable. It’s good news for men, however, because THERE ARE VERY FEW MEN THAT SUCCEED IN ALL OF THESE AREAS. Some guys are physically attractive but they are fucking idiots and losers in life. Other guys are successful and rich but have no confidence or personality to speak of. Some guys have charm and looks, but they are emotionally or physically abusive. It is very, very difficult for women to find a guy that excels in all of her criteria and a lot of women are with they are not really satisfied with. So that should make you confident. If you see a super hot girl, you should realize that she is not JUST waiting on the super hot guy – she has other criteria she needs and she likely knows that the super hot guy might not have it all.

Because women have a longer list of criteria than men do, a woman usually can’t immediately tell whether she likes a guy when she meets him because she can’t tell from just his appearance and introduction whether he meets her other criteria (confident, intelligent, etc…). Of course, sometimes when a woman sees a guy, she knows right away that he is a “no” (imagine a short, bald, fat guy who looks like shit, has a swastika tattoo on his forehead, etc…), and sometimes in very rare occasions a guy might be an immediate “yes.” Usually a man is an immediate yes if the woman already knows him somehow (he is a celebrity) or she can tell a lot about him by his look (i.e., if she likes surfers and he looks like a typical surfer). But to a woman, most guys are a “maybe” until she gets to know him. That’s where game comes in. Game is selling yourself and convincing the girl that your other, non-visual aspects meet her qualifications. Even if a guy looks physically attractive to a girl, he is still a “maybe” until she gets to know him better.

This is an important thing men need to understand. Because it takes women longer to become attracted, dating is completely different for them. For women, dating is a process to get to know the guy to determine whether he meets the qualifications. A woman may not even be “attracted” to you until the 2nd or 3rd date. For men, dating is a thing where you are already attracted, and now you just want to close the deal. That’s why men often get overly invested early in the relationship and start acting like the relationship is deeper than it really is, freaking women out. You have to realize that just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean that she feels the same way.

Because it takes a while for a woman to get warmed up to you, the man must push the interaction. Think about it – if she is not yet “attracted” to you yet, why would she push the interaction ahead? The man must take control of the conversation, escalate, call her, etc… Of course, you should read her and make sure you are not being overly aggressive, creepy or needy. But if you can’t tell if she is attracted or not, keep escalating – the reason PUAs say “assume attraction” is because sometimes women don’t show that they attracted or they are still figuring it out. And you have to make it exciting/funny/interesting because she is not yet attracted to you so she has no reason to give you her time unless you create a reason.

Control your masculinity

As we have said earlier, women are attracted to confident, dominant, “alpha” guys – in short, they are attracted to masculinity. But at the same time, women are afraid of masculinity because masculinity, if misused, can become very dangerous to women. It can be scary to be a woman, especially going out at night, because women are generally physically weaker than men. Men also have a stronger sex drive than women, and a more immediate one as well, so women oftentimes deal with that are extremely aggressive and creepy. A man on a mission is basically like an evil zombie.

The same way that men are fascinated by boobs, women are fascinated by masculinity. They pay very close attention to how men use their masculinity. Women want a guy who is masculine, but at the same time has complete control of his masculinity. Most women’s ideal man is a guy who could beat the fuck out of any other guy at the party if he really needed to, but chooses not to unless he absolutely has to.

That’s why women like guys who are “smooth.” Smooth guys seem in control over their masculinity. PUAs say that you should make the conversation sexual early – and that’s true, but you have to be “smooth” about it, because if you blurt something sexual in a socially awkward, unconfident way the woman will think your dick is in control. And women know that when the dick is in control, they need to run because the dick is a ruthless, vicious beast if it is not tamed by the guy who it belongs to. A lot of guys are afraid of being sexual towards a woman because they are afraid the woman will be grossed out or turned off, but there is nothing inherently wrong with being sexual – women expect that and want that. The problem is that women also know that male sexuality is a very dangerous thing and they want it to be under control.

Women’s Appearance

One of the worst things about being a woman is the fact that you are judged on your appearance and your appearance alone. No matter how smart or interesting you are, if you are ugly or fat, the quality of guy you can get is much, much reduced. Here is a secret men need to know: women HATE the fact that they are judged by their looks. Like men, women have a lot of traits other than their looks that are valuable, and they hate the fact that they need to focus on this one thing that only represents a small portion of who they are.

Women hate being judged for their appearance because they know appearance is a bullshit thing. For one, a lot of one’s appearance is out of her control. She can work out, eat right, and try to get dolled up, but you can’t change your genetics or your upbringing. Second, a woman’s appearance is mostly fake. The “hot” girl you see at the club mostly looks like that way because of her clothes, make-up, fake tan, hours spent styling her hair, sometimes plastic surgery, etc... She looks like a completely different person during the day. Her boobs look awesome because she is wearing something to emphasize her boobs and something to de-emphasize her weak traits. She probably isn’t really blonde – she dyed her hair. She is hiding her fat rolls with special corsets and bras and stuff. Her boobs or pussy might look weird if you get her naked. Women oftentimes do not respect men who drool over “hot” women because they know that the thing that men are drooling over is literally fake.

Appearance is also very temporary. A lot of women starve themselves to look the way they do. Most hot girls are 6 months away from being fat and ugly if they don’t take care of themselves. And of course, at 30 hotness starts disappearing no matter how much a woman takes care of herself. Appearance is also temporary in the sense that men’s desires quickly change. Men can fawn over a “hot” girl and then suddenly change their mind when another, hotter girl walks in.

Imagine you moved to a city where the only thing women cared about was how much the men could bench press, no matter how stupid or douchey the men were. Because of that, men spend all day in the gym bench pressing and focus on nothing else. Guys that are naturally scrawny never get laid and if you miss a few days at the gym and your bench drops women ignore you and make fun of you for being a weak bitch. If you lived in bench press land you would think that those women were the dumbest, most superficial, most evil assholes ever. BUT THAT IS LITERALLY THE WORLD WOMEN LIVE IN – bench press land is what it is like for women to live in a land where men only care about their appearance and are rude about it.

You may ask “if women hate being judged on their appearance, why do so many women invest so much effort in their appearance and ignore their other qualities?” I think it is because they have no other option and because they got addicted to the perks of being hot and can’t help but enjoy it even though they know it is stupid. As a Marxist would say, don’t blame the people in the system, blame the system itself. Women can’t change the fact that we live in a world where appearance is paramount, so they just try to work within that system as best they can. Many women get trapped in a vicious circle – the system only cares about appearance, so the women focus too much on their appearance, ignoring their other qualities, and therefore the system just cares about their appearance more.

For all these reasons, appearance is a sore spot for many women a huge source of insecurity.

What’s the advice here? I’m not sure. I guess the advice is to keep all this in mind when you interact with women. A lot of you guys are really intimidated by “hot” women because you are afraid they will be bitchy. But you need to realize that those women are just people like you and they have the same challenges and struggles you do (paying rent, dealing with their shitty boss, finding happiness, finding true love, etc...). Many of them are only “bitchy” because they know that guys only care about them because they are hot, and they can’t respect those guys. The best way to approach super, super hot women is to compliment something other than their appearance that they truly care about. For example, a great trick to use on 10s is to compliment them on being a good person or succeeding in their field of work. In fact, here is a good pick up line to use on a 10: “Hi, I’m X, I just wanted to introduce myself because you look like a very nice person.”

Because women know that appearance is stupid and temporary, they oftentimes do not respect men that are blinded by hotness and will oftentimes have no qualms in hustling those guys for whatever they can get (drinks, dinner, money) and then humiliating them. To women, those guys are like the women in bench press land, so they don’t feel bad in fucking them over. Also, women know exactly how hot they are, so if you tell an average looking woman that she should be a model she will think you are either purposely bullshitting her or that you’re a fucking idiot.

Sexism

Another huge challenge women face is sexism. A lot of men talk to women like they are idiots or objects that only exist to be fucked and make babies. PUAs are especially bad at this because when their dicks are on they lose 50 IQ points of intelligence. A lot of men are also very controlling and possessive of women, and then hypocritical in that they don’t allow women to have the same control over them. For obvious reasons, women hate that. There is also a double standard in our society where if a guy fucks a lot of girls he is considered awesome but if a woman does that, she is shamed. It’s also sexist how women are judged solely by their appearance. Etc...

Our society is in a weird transition point where about half the people hold old-fashioned, traditional views of the role of women and the other half hold more modern, progressive, “feminist” views. But trust this – unless she is a hardcore Christian or something, most women in our society generally hold feminist views. For that reason, you should always err on the side of respecting feminist views. You will not get very far with women telling them that they belong in the kitchen or that they should do whatever their husbands tell them to.

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