You guys know what really sucks?

magnetradio · 2019-09-14T10:00:15+00:00

You're not sitting there like an idiot. Your objective is the reason why you feel that way.

It has been hardwired for men to feel the need to get women in social settings like bars, clubs, and parties. If you sit there, you think that you're a failure.

The next time you go to a party, don't try to get laid. Do your normal thing and have a seat. Then take a walk and check out the party scene. You may see an attractive girl sitting by herself who you can talk to. You don't have to be interesting and take her home with you. She may feel the same way you feel about being shy at party scenes.

This is a good start.

You can walk up to her:

"Your friends dragged you out of the house too? You mind if I sit with you?"

You're not trying to get her in bed. All you're doing is keeping a fellow wallflower company.

When you're comfortable doing this, you may look forward to your next party and finding more wallflowers to talk to.

martell20 · 2019-09-14T04:41:10+00:00

You should stand up and just shout " anyone wanna take a shot" then do this 😏👉👉... if no.. get out of there they already made up their minds about you.

KewlKid88 · 2019-09-14T08:07:16+00:00

Nothing stopping you, except you.

Supervarken_ · 2019-09-14T09:54:53+00:00

Alright what kind of parties are we talking bout like regular parties from friends or going out to a party or smth? I’ve kinda been at your position and working on your self esteem by taking good care of our health looks and hobbies is he best start. If someone invites you to something always go unless you really think the activity will suck. Search the internet for some books/tips as there are lots of sources avaible. Good luck also try to not look at your phone during or before a party as it somehow kinda sets me in the wrong mood.

assasin339789 · 2019-09-14T12:05:35+00:00

I know im late, but the next time this happens, you can do 2 things. 1. Find a girl who sits in the corner like you. Almost all parties have a couple of them. 2. Drink, but not to completely get wasted, just enough so you gain confidence boost. Im shy asf normally at parties, but once the liquid kicks in, everything becomes awesome

l1ght- · 2019-09-14T13:52:33+00:00

Ugh. The majority of advice here sucks.

Don't drink for liquid courage - it doesn't last.

Start slow. Talk to whoever invited you. If you're friends with the host, ask them to introduce you to some people.

Walk up to others "So how do you know *host*?"

Last night after the bar, in a queue at McDonald's, I looked at a girl, looked at my shoes, and said "can you believe these were white at the beginning of the night?"

HOW FUCKING SIMPLE.

I'm not trying to impress her. I'm simply commenting that I fucked up and my white shoes look like shit now.

Start slow. Don't rush. Get to know people. Don't focus on trying to pull everyone on the first night.

This shit isn't easy, especially not when starting out. But who cares. Just go out to have fun. If people don't like you, who cares. Not everyone will.

3iiis · 2019-09-14T05:07:18+00:00

Take a shot first. Then the alcohol will do the rest of the job for you.

SeveralTourist · 2019-09-14T14:51:11+00:00

Set small goals. Going to a party and trying to both A) break into a conversation and B) have a conversation with people that everyone (including yourself) enjoys is actually pretty hard. In terms of social skills, that's close to the final boss.

Start by going out to more structured social events where you are forced to interact with people, or it's organized that way, rather than having to try to join a group conversation. For example, go to a martial arts place a couple times a week, go to an improv class, go to any sort of group class where you will be paired off, etc. All of those are easier (in terms of social skills) than trying to join a conversation at a party, oddly enough.

Also, just for framing things, you were feeling anxious, which is fair. People are anxious when doing new things. Once you get better at it, the anxiety will fade.

getyourlifeplease · 2019-09-14T05:42:21+00:00

Is there anyone elaw you see just standing around (or sitting alone)? Go over to them and say hi...make a comment about how it looks like everyone is having a good time...or about a particular song playing! See how it goes

2019-09-14T11:31:50+00:00

At least you’re st a party. I have never been to one

karapuzik123 · 2019-09-14T16:50:25+00:00

This is bs. Downvote me with all your might fellows redditors but u r just a weak ass who hasn’t pushed himself beyond comfort zone.

dammmmmmmmmmit · 2019-09-14T03:59:15+00:00

I feel you.i struggle with the same thing

Title	You guys know what really sucks?
Author	skizzyjay
Upvotes	41
Comments	26
Date	September 14, 2019 3:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d40afk/you_guys_know_what_really_sucks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/you-guys-know-what-really-sucks.1478583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1478583

Comments