Is this HV behavior?

fireforestfairy · 2021-11-21T09:08:14+00:00

Think twice before you date someone 4 hours away. If both you of you agree to meet rach toher at midpoint, it'll still take you two hours to travel to meet him and two hours to return home. That's four hours of traveling in total. Imagine how much you could have done with the time.

Also, be careful when you date someone without citizenship. Men like to shame women for dating for citizenship but it's not like men don't do this too.

Bacheegs · 2021-11-21T10:19:18+00:00

In most cases it’s a red flag when a guy lives that far away and is looking for a long-distance girlfriend. Unless you guys are part of a specific type of church group or there is a reason you can’t find somebody local it’s a red flag to me. It’s not a red flag that he asked you for options because you may want to explore his city. I love when men give options, I think it shows respect for what I might want instead of just what he wants.

Competitive_Bar8657 · 2021-11-21T01:22:48+00:00

He lives 4 hours away.

Yellow flag. Why bother with LDR unless he's actively planning to move closer to be with you.

he mentioned I “look young” and that I have a “young voice”.

Orange flag. His culture finds it attractive to he's just looking for someone younger or naive to fall in love with him. Tread carefully.

“ do you want to come or do you want me to come”

Orange flag. An HVM would drop everything to come and see you. Maybe even as surprise (but careful with lovebombing!)

He is on a student visa.

Student visa has limited time unless his family is rich and will sponsor him another one. Also, student is=to broke. He might be desperate to secure a permanent residency by love bombing or impregnating a citizen who's willing to marry him. Steer clear.

super_thinker_ · 2021-11-21T16:01:36+00:00

Listen to your gut. You’re right that the “you look young” comment is weird.

I’ve learned that when men “observe” my appearance/physical qualities:

“you look like…” “your voice is so high pitched” “you dress like a grandma” “you look like you’re in high school” “you are so short” “your glasses are so big” “you say ‘um’ a lot”

They are actually objectifying me and negging me.

The men who have actually cared about me as a person in the past have never made objectifying comments like this. They might say something like “you have the prettiest eyes” but that’s different than “you have really big eyes.” If that makes any sense?

Title	Is this HV behavior?
Author	wavesandtea
Upvotes	37
Comments	11
Date	November 20, 2021 11:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/qyi66v/is_this_hv_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/is-this-hv-behavior.1082912 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082912

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