4 months ago my wife asked for a separation. She said we are growing apart, you’ve stopped showing affection and she doesn’t know who she is anymore. Came out of the blue for me but she was right, I had stopped showing affection/love. I was so involved with my work I had put our relationship on the back burner along with my relationship with my kids. I’ve since taken a huge step back from work and am focusing on my relationship with my kids and it’s improved immensely.

Long story short, after months of waiting and working on ourselves, this last week my wife asked officially for divorce saying she doesn’t think we’ll be able to come back to together and we are too different. On one hand, I completely agree. On the other, I am still in love with her and don’t want to let her go. But I know I can’t fight for a relationship that she doesn’t want. I told her this.

My question: how long should I be waiting for her to take the next step? She hasn’t talked to any attorneys or mediators. She is still living part time with me and the kids. She says she wants a divorce but hasn’t taken any steps towards that outcome. On my end, I don’t want to take the first step because part of me is still hanging on to her. How long do I keep this up? I want a loving and affectionate relationship again and would love more then anything for that to be with her but how long is too long for me to sit in limbo waiting to see if she’s ever going to move one way or the other?